Huff Po – Improv Everywhere has outdone themselves once again with the final installment in their Movies In Real Life series. This time, they give us the immortal “triple-dog dare” scene from “A Christmas Story,” brilliantly reset on a NYC subway train. And, yes, the kids use a subway pole instead of flag pole.
Goddamn it! I hate these assholes with every single fiber of my being. Nobody in the world wants to be crammed on a NYC subway, or on any form of mass transit for that matter, crammed nut to butt with a bunch of strangers breathing in the stale air that hangs thick with the unmistakeable smell of three-day old hobo urine. The whole experience is an exercise in humanities capacity for misery before someone snaps and kills somebody. Every single morning you step onto the subway you are effectively playing Russian Roulette, hoping today is not the day that someone has been pushed a bridge too far. And that’s just what it’s like on a normal ass day. Now que up these attention whoreing fucksticks. They’re yelling at each other even though they’re literally standing 18 inches apart. That would have been the first straw but hey if my music can be turned up loud enough to drown out some annoying ass kids whining at each other then I’m going to be a little agitated but in the end no harm no foul. The SECOND that kid put his tongue on that gross ass subway pole and starts just screaming I would have lost my mind. That absolutely 100% for sure would have been my breaking point. Pop up outta my seat and deliver a devastating ninja kick to the jaw. I’m quite honestly surprised no one on that train actually did physically assail these little twerps.
PS –
Yes I realize that the kid used a prosthetic tongue but I don’t care. Getting your mouth that close to a NYC subway pole is one of the worst things you could do with your mouth. A person would probably be way safer just giving a hummer to herpes ridden meth head. Which if we’re being honest is most likely what at least one of the kids in that video will end up doing at some point in the future.
One Last Line 