Tag Archives: nfl draft

If You Were Carlos Hyde How Pissed Would You Be That Matt Millen Said You Were “Going To Be An Excellent Pro”?

play above for the audio from the game

Infinity.  I would be infinity pissed off.  There is literally no scale humans could ever come up with nor comprehend that would be able to measure my level of anger towards Matt Millen.  Getting an endorsement from Millen that you’re “going to be an excellent pro” is effectively the kiss of death on your NFL career before halftime of the Orange Bowl.  Remember Matt Millen is the man that spent seven years carefully crafting the 0-16 Detroit Lions, his Magnum Opus if you will.  This is the man that in consecutive years at the top end of th 1st round of the NFL Draft selected Joey Harrington (3rd Overall 2002), Charles Rogers (2nd Overall 2003), Roy Williams (WR, 7th Overall 2004), Mike WIlliams (WR USC, 10th Overall 2005), Ernie Sims (LB, 9th Overall 2006), Calvin Johnson (2nd Overall 2007) and Gosder Cherilus (OT, 17th Overall 2008).  Obviously Megatron #2 overall in ’07 was a homerun in the draft that saw JaMarcus Russel go 1st Overall but other than that, woof.  And there werent any late round gems in there either.  It’s too bad to because Hyde’s draft stock has been rising pretty meteorically towards the end of his senior campaign and had positioned himself to possibly be the first Tailback taken off the board this April.  That is until Matt Millen interfered.  Sorry Carlos.  I feel for you my man, thats a tough beat to dance to.

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Why? Why Matt Millen? Why would you do that to me?

If This Doesn’t Explain Why The Future Is Fucked Nothing Will

It’s a wonder NFL prospects don’t boycott useless Wonderlic test

Honestly, I debated on whether or not I wanted to mention this and give this shmuck any possible further traffic or exposure.  Then I remembered that nobody reads this so I decided to say screw it and go for the gold.  The problem I have is that there are so many things in this article I hate I have absolutly no idea where to begin so I guess I’ll break down my hate in the article’s chronoligical order (probably the wrong phrase but the fuck I give is non-existent):

CBSSports.com : a series of studies that have concluded, independently, that a prospect’s score on the Wonderlic has no bearing on how he will perform in the NFL … or even where he will be drafted. To recap: The Wonderlic neither predicts a player’s NFL future nor affects where he will be drafted.

And still it’s used, and not used for good but for bad. It’s used as a hammer by media and fans who get their hands on scores and congratulate those who did well, yes, but who have more fun mocking those who don’t.

Shame on any of us who would use a person’s Wonderlic score against him, as if it matters in the grand scheme of things. It doesn’t matter, not any more than a short person’s height matters, or a bald person’s scalp matters. We are who we are. We were born with certain genetics, good and bad, so who are we to mock someone because their genetic code isn’t quite as sterling, in a specific area, as ours?

So effectively if you think you may not be perfect at something don’t even bother trying because you know, who cares? The world owes us all everything we desire all the time and positive thinking is all we need.  We would never want something like the NFL Combine to turn into a pseudo human trafficking center where they measure every physical aspect and attribute of a human being before making an evaluation based on the aforementioned numbers and deciding when to select said humans and how much to pay them. Oh, wait that is exactly what the NFL Combine is.  The whole event exists for one reason and one reason only: to measure humans against other humans in every possible measurable category that may pertain to a job offer worth millions of dollars.  An opportunity for a little due diligence to be done by the guys signing the cheques.  Hell, if you don’t want to take the Wonderlic you can always go on a job interview in the real world and hope they don’t ask you to prove that you’re capable of doing basic arithmetic for a treasure chest full of gold.

Holy shit, I didn’t do an image search for the clownshoe that wrote the original article until after I wrote my piece but holy shit, this is EXACTLY what I was hoping/assuming this douchebag looked like :

GreggDoyle1

Gregg Doyel, will you be my arch nemesis? I feel like I already hate everything about you and we barely even know each other. I’m sure in time you’ll learn to hate me as well. You somehow manage to bring out the best of my hate. You complete me. Go Fuck Yourself Gregg Doyel. I’ll see you in Hell.