Tag Archives: Johnny Maziel

Jameis Winston Even Shakes Hands Better Than Everyone Else

So I know today everybody is going to be all wrapped up in that ridiculous National Title Game.  I’m happy to see the BCS go the fuck away and what a way to send it out.  Probably the best college football game since Texas-USC in the Rose Bowl.  Jameis played like a Heisman Trophy winner should and made all the big plays he had to down the stretch.  Just an exhilarating football game all the way around,  That’s not what we’re here for though, you’ll get enough of that talk elsewhere today.  What i want to talk about is Jameis Winston’s handshake with Jimbo Fisher’s son Tyler.  Did everyone else see that on ESPN’s 8 hour pregame show? If not take a second and check this out:

That thing is fucking straight up magical.  I havent been able to stop thinking about it since I saw it for the first time yesterday.  Every time I watch it I get more and more enchanted with the whole operation.  How in the hell am I supposed to go on knowing that I do not have a handshake anywhere near that dope with a single person on the planet?  It’s quite honestly begining to drive me a bit mad.  I mean I generally think I’m pretty gotdamn fly but now I’m just sitting here re-evaluating everything I though I knew about myself.  I don’t ever make New Year’s Resolutions and I dig that I’m a week late but you can write this down now: I will have a wicked complicated 37 step handshake with at least one human person by 2015.

PS –

Yup, I think I can safely say that Jameis Winston’s handshake with a 12 year old is officially the proud owner of a nice piece of real estate in my head.  Well played.

Double PS –

Don’t worry Johnny Manziel, didn’t forget about you. Looks like you’re enjoying the offseason thus far

still my favorite

I want to be Johnny Manziel for one day.  That’s all I’m asking for, 24 hours. One day in the life of Johnny Football.  Pure unadulterated madness…

Johnny Football Manziel’s Final College Game is Appointment Television

JohnnyFootballBroads

Welp folks this is it. 5pm PST in the Chick-fil-A Bowl the world of college football will bid farewell to Johnny Football. I am so excited for this game I can’t even describe it. Sorry Duke, you’ve had a great year and all but you are the lambs being led to slaughter.  Im hoping for the full on Johnny Manziel experience. Im talking hang 70 points throw for 400 yds and run for another 300 all while racking up 150yds in personal fouls for unsportsmanlike conduct.  For my money he cant go far enough, come out in a fur coast like Joe Willy Goddamn Namath, gold ropes on the field like he’s PrimeTime.  Fuck a Duke cheeleader in the middle of the 3rd quarter.  Nothing is going to be over the top enough for me. Please Johnny Football, for me, for the kids but most importantly for ‘Murica! put on The Ritz on this New Years Eve.

Goodnight sweet prince, the world of college football will miss you way more than you will miss it