Category Archives: Weather

Does This Look Like The Face Of A San Diego Man Caught Wearing A Kardashian Hoodie In Las Vegas

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San Diego U-T – San Diegan Greg Ryan is living proof that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.  Over Christmas, the Patio Restaurant bar manager was spotted in Bellagio Casino’s arcade by reality show star Khloe Kardashian. He was wearing one of her track suits.

Gotta love how Khloe made sure to throw in that now they can “say they are unisex” just to make sure everyone knows that this is, indeed an article of female clothing.  Kick a man while he’s down why don’t ya? For fuck’s sake.  Thats a really tough break my man and I feel for you.  Could have easily been anyone of us and before you start crowing how that could never be you because you’re such an Eddie Tough Guy and would never wear female clothing you probably need to pump the brakes and think about how this guy ended up in these circumstances.  One second this poor shmo is lounging in his Vegas hotel room with his chick and she sends him down to the lobby to grab coffee or some other errand.  He figures why not, it’ll keep her happy and I can grab a drink or six while I’m down there.Figuring he wont be gone long and is still kind of hungover he heads out of the room and just grabs one of the sweatshirts on the chair by the door.  He doesn’t realize it’s hers until he gets into the elevator and just shrugs it off assuming that it’s the middle of the morning or day or whatever in Las Vegas and he’ll just anonymously blend into the sea of madness and lights that is Sin City.  Just minding his own business trying to just enjoy his cocktail and forget that for Christmas somebody got you a Kardashian brand hoodie, next second one of those bridge trolls is putting you on blast all over Instagram.

Don’t Worry ‘Murica! Boston Beatbox Is Here To Help You Ride Out This Polar Vortex

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2014-01-07 03.23.41oh ya, thats why I moved

I know the weather has been something of a miserable cunt for most of ‘Murica! over the last couple of weeks and I feel for my peoples in cold ass places. I do, I really do.  Especially considering that its already this bad this early.  Everyone is just staring down the barrel of what could be a very, very long winter in the Northern states.  But never fear, you are not forgotten.  We here aboard the OneLastLine want to help out in any way we possibly can (without leaving this amazingly warm little corner of the country),  With that in mind I present to you some videos that should heat you up and hopefully send your brain to its happy tropical place. Just keep telling yourself that summer will be here eventually, watch these videos on loop and you all should make it through these long cold dark days.

Lets Make Some NFL Playoff Picks

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Everyone else on tv and the interwebs seems to be picking this weekend’s slate of games against the spread and I’m just as if not smarter than all these motherfuckers so I figure I should get in the game myself, here’s my picks for Wild Card Weekend:

Kansas City +1 @ Indy (Sat  1:35pm PST)

The first game of the weekend is also probably the toughest call, Indy giving 1 point at home is basically Vegas just throwing their hands up in the air and saying “fuck it, you guys figure it out”.  On one side you have an amazingly inconsistent Colts team with (a wildly overrated) Andrew Luck at the helm.  No other team benifited more from the Patriots breaking the Texans sole on MNF towards the end of last season than Indianapolis.  If there were another half decent team in the AFC South the Colts probably wouldn’t even be here.  However picking Andy Reid and Alex Smith on the road in the playoffs is kind of a terrifying proposition since you know, Andy Reid will be in charge of clock management.  In the end on this one I think the loss of Reggie Wayne earlier this season is going to kill them in this game and the Chiefs should lean heavily on Jamaal Charles and their Defense.

Gun to my head I think Jam Chuck carries the Chiefs offense, lets Alex Smith do his minimalist QB thing and take any time management issues out of Big Red’s hands by grinding out clock on the ground.  The pick if I had to: Chiefs + 1

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New Orleans @ Philly – 2.5 (5:10pm PST)

The Saints have a tough time playing on the road.  Charlie Kelly’s Eagles are fahkin rollin along right now.  The game is in Philladelphia and the weather should be just alright saturday.  It’s going to be cold, around 20 at kickoff, but should be snow and relatively wind free.  Plus Shady McCoy has a championship belt.

Got to believe that No Huddle No Mercy allows Shady to put off our rock, paper, scissors title belt unification match for the ages another week.  The Pick: Eagles – 2.5

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San Diego +7 @ Cincinnati (Sun 10am PST)

I love the Chargers to win this game outright for the same reason I fully expected them to lose last week to KC (and boy howdy did they ever try to lose to Andy Reid’s JV Squad), its the San Diego Chargers. They sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it. This is exactly who they’ve been in the Phil Rivers Era. I know Cinnci is a ball hawking Defense and that they crank that D up a notch at home. I am aware that they went undefeated at home this season and that it will be what meteorologists refer to as cold as balls Sunday afternoon in the Queen City but this is EXACTLY the kind of game the Chargers win. And does anybody really trust Marvin Lewis and the Red Rocket in a big game? When was the last time anyone saw the Bengles (or any key component of their current roster) win or even make a significant (positive) play in a huge game? I got nothing.

Despite all the evidence pointing the other way my pick here is: Chargers +7 (+225 on the M/L is worth a thought as well)SD_Chargers1

San Fransisco – 3 @ Green Bay (1:35pm PST)

Man oh man.  The NFL is closing out the Wildcard Weekend with a fucking bang.  And by bang I mean what is predicted to be one of the colder games in recent memory, with a high of FIVE and a low of MINUS TWENTY FOUR! I had to spell those numbers out because I wanted to make sure everyone understood that wasn’t some sort of typo.  Kickoff for this game is set for 3:35pm local time and the sun will be gone dragging with it whatever little warmth it was providing.  Its always going to be tempting to hammer GB catching three points at home with Aaron Rodgers.  Its even more tempting when you factor in a California team traveling to those kinds of temps.  But the thing is at those temps all advantage for being a cold weather team is fucking scrubbed.  At those temps its just fucking cold no matter whom you are.  Also its worth factoring in that fresh break on ARodges collar bone is going to sting like a mother in this cold.  Once you factor in the weather this game should come down to Frank Gore and Eddie Lacy bashing into the opponents defense.  While its always difficult to pick against the Packers at Lambeau but they arent unbeatable in playoffs at home as history has shown us.

The Packers come riding in hot after that Chicago win but I have a strange feeling that Frank Gore will end up as a battering ram and SanFran’s D tends to travel pretty well.   Yay area rejoice The Pick: 49ers -3

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Twelve Days of XMas Are Complete! We Made It Everybody!

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Well here it is folks.  The culmination of a lot of smutty work.  Today is Christmas, effectively making it the 12th and final day of the holiday run up. I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Merry Christmas guys:

XMasHoe34

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Eleventh Day of XMas! Pipers Are Piping Tonight!

Rowdy-Roddy-PiperRowdy Rody Piper counts a s 11 grown men

This is it folks, the Eve of Baby Jesus miraculous shuffle down the virgin Mary’s birth canal.  We’ve come along way, stared at a lot of ass together of the past 10 days, so with only 1 more tyo go after today lets finish this bitch out a strong note.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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Hey Rest Of ‘Murica! Pick Your Teeth Up Because San Deigo Is DOMINATING XMas

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Hey rest of the country, eat your hearts out.  America’s Finest City just living up to it’s namesake and putting an absolute fucking beatdown on the rest of the country.  Especially my hometown of Peabody, MA.  You see those Temperature splits up there? SD’s low for the next week is higher than Peabody’s highs by an astounding 20 degrees.  This ladies and gents is how you Christmas,  Now if I could only set up a Penguin XMas parade we would be on top of the world.  The writing schedule is going to be fairly erratic this week but I promise we’ll be back to a full on bloggin schedule right after the New Year.  Until then I’m just going to post things that catch my eye, in addition to the final two days of the 12 Days Of Christmas Countdown.

 

Tenth Day of XMas! Lords A Leaping? Not On My Watch

We have officially hit the three-quarter stick on the way to Baby Jesus Day! To help all of my fine peoples get through this last holiday push your generous and benevolent Comandant Boston Beatbox is going to be posting some Hoe, Hoe, motherfucking Hoes.  Not only that but I’m also going to include the lyrics from the classic Twelve Days of Christmas that correspond with that Day of Christmas.  Thats right a new gallery of three sexified X-Mas themed pics accompanied by the stanza for that day of XMas will go up everyday from now until we hit paydirt.  By the end of this little experiment in my ability to commit to a long term project we should have a lovely little gallery and the complete words to The Twelve Days of Christmas.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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