Category Archives: Australia

‘Oh Canada’ Had Never Given Me Chills Before Yesterday

an absolutely marvelous job by the Pittsburgh Pengiuns crowd last night singing ‘Oh Canada’, chills up my spine and tears in my eyes

 

By now I assume most people in the world with an internet connection know what has transpired in Canada the last few days. Two Canadian service-members murdered on their Native Soil while a third recovers in the hospital. If it wasnt for the incredibly decisive and brave actions of Canadian Parliament Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers, who shot the terrorist dead in the halls of Parliament, this could have been a massacre on a truly horrifying scale. Mr. Vickers is being lauded as a Canadian hero today and rightfully so. With the full parliament in session and the PM in the building, today could have had a much different narrative were it not for the heroics of Mr. Vickers.

As I write this it seems that both of these attacks were carried out by natural born Canadian jihadist (possibly self-radicalized). The driver of the car (I steadfastly refuse to mention the names of these assholes) that ran down the two soldiers in Quebec on Tuesday had converted to Islam, had his Canadian passport revoked for attempting to travel to Turkey, his social media footprint features a heavy-handed dose of Islamic State propoganda and he was on a Terror Watch List. It is becoming more and more clear now that Wednesday’s shooter was at the very least influenced by ISIS, as he had also had his Canadian passport revoked to prevent him from traveling abroad and had been placed on a Watch List.

Who the fuck attacks Canada? They’re like our little brother to the North. They never bothered anybody. These motherfucking Jihadis are really starting to piss me right the fuck off. I get it when you come after Good Old ‘Murica, we’re the imperialists. Some pretty horrific things have been done around the globe in the name of Uncle Sam. So while I do not appreciate nor do I encourage all this Islamist hate towards us, fundamentally I get it. Same goes for the Brits who are the OG Imperialists on the block and are pretty much always down to get into a brawl with someone on our behalf. In that sense the UK is like a friend’s older brother who doesnt really want to join in but just cant stand the thought of sitting on the sidelines. Australia has recently made a handful of terrorist arrests and even that makes some sense, Australia is basically America’s awesome drinking buddy that you call at midnight yelling about how we have to go fuck some dude up and Australia just asks that we pick them up on the way. But Canada? The fuck has Canada ever done to anyone other that kick their ass in hockey? Canada has been our reluctant sidekick through all this. They dont necessarily want to join us but their options are somewhat geographically limited. I love Canada for who and what they: super polite friendly people, breathtaking landscapes of The Great White North, socialized medicine, motherfucking poutine, the home of the finest French whores on this side of the Atlantic, and hockey.

I watched last year as my hometown Boston was disrupted by cowardly attacks at The Marathon finish line on Patriots’ Day and as the nation of Canada begins the process of healing itself while coming to terms with their collective loss of innocence in the age of global terrorism we here at One Last Line stand in solidarity with our neighbors to the North. #CanadaStrong

Please take a moment to say a quick word for the fallen:
Cpl Nathan Cirillo
Cpl Nathan Cirillo
Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent

Has Any Dress Ellie Gonsalves Has Ever Put on Survived the Encounter?

EllieGonsalves24

I would like everybody to meet Ellie Gonsalves. She is an Australian model and just flat out dominates Instagram as well as every possible combo of hair length and color.  Seriously I can not find a single picture of this chick where she isn’t devastating.  Just straight flat-out heat 100% of the time.  Anyway I have a serious question for Ms. Gonsalves: “Has any dress you’ve ever put on survived the encounter?”  I have a feeling the answer is a swift and decisive “No”.  She also spends a fair amount of her time defining the phrase “bikini body”.  Don’t believe me? Here I’ll prove it:

Continue reading