Category Archives: Technology

#BearSelfie Is A New Thing That Could Only Possibly End Well

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San Diego UT – Having a smart phone doesn’t necessarily make a person smart. In fact, the device seems to make some people just plain dumb. Case in point. Bear selfies. In fact, stopping to take a picture of oneself while a large, powerful mammal that could rip you to shreds in seconds lurks close behind, has become such a popular thing to do that the U.S. Forest Service officials in South Lake Tahoe are warning the shutterbugs to stop. Because it’s dangerous, people! “We’ve had mobs of people that are actually rushing toward the bears trying to get a ‘selfie’ photo,”  The Taylor Creek area of Lake Tahoe is a popular place for visitors and is also the site of the fall fish festival, a family event that includes fish painting, a treasure hunt, mascots Lulu the Lahontan Cutthroat Trout and Sandy and Rocky Salmon, the Bumble Bee ice cream truck and the ever popular giant inflatable fish. Visitors are even pulling their cars over along state Route 89 and venturing off the road and off trails to get the snapshots of the wild creatures. It has gotten so bad that officials are threatening to shut down the area. “It is presenting a safety issue,” Herron told the paper. “We are afraid someone is going to get attacked.” According to the Forest Service, there are 25,000 to 30,000 black bears in California. A male bear can weigh as much as 500 pounds and run as fast as 35 mph.

 

This supposedly some new trend among attention whores on on the internet, to stop and turn your back on a bear in the wild so you can take (an admittedly fucking bad ass) selfie for Instagram. I say supposedly because this has the feeling of one of those things where in reality only a handful of people actually did it but Old Media gets confused by The Al GoreTube Network and next thing you know taking selfies with apex predators in the wild becomes a “trend”. But lets assume this really is a thing that is indeed a trend among people who have regular access to wild black bears, I think we can all agree that these people are lunatics. That bear might look docile and whatever just chillin eating some berries and grubs but if he decides he wants to eat you he can. I’m no bear expert but I would think if he wanted you as a snack or if he was just doing Darwin’s dirty work because you annoyed him I would imagine the perfect time would be when this dumbass, unarmed, pork chop lookin mothafucker with an iphone turns it’s back. And when someone inevitably gets mauled by a bear thats trying to get every last bit of easy protein before turning in for the winter can we all agree that it should not have to be hunted down and shot? Like I get that’s our normal response to animals that eat a human and normally I understand and support that thinking but this is different. I feel like anytime you stop and do something inconsiderate, dangerous or just not smart all in the name of taking a selfie, whatever happens to you is on you. The laws and conventions of society are suspended for however long you’re self-indulgence takes.

PS –

How about that Fall Fish Festival huh? Treasure Hunts, Lulu the Cutthroat Trout and the ever popular giant inflatable fish?! And they have fish painting! I have no idea what fish painting is or how it works but I assume it has something to do with both painting and a fish, maybe you paint pictures for the fish? Or of the fish? or maybe with the fish, like you use the fish as a brush to paint? So so so sooo many possibilities at the South Tahoe Fall Fish Fest.

Burrito Vending Machine Is Intriguing To Say The Least

Why does the man reading this segment for the San Diego Union-Tribune have such a heavy British accent?  That doesn’t even begin to make any sense, if they wanted someone that sounded “ethnic” (as I’m sure they would put it) why wouldn’t they get somebody that had a slight Mexican accent?  Is it because a British accent seems more intelligent and trustworthy?  I find the whole thing a bit distracting.

Anyways as far the actual Burrito Box, I’m in favor of this.  I’m actually way more than in favor of this, I’m genuinely excited.  As of right now there’s just that one in Hollywood but I have to think this technology is just going to grow.  They’re never going to be able to replace a real life honest to god questionably documented mexican in a dirty taco shop kitchen but at 3am I’m pretty sure these things are Johnny on the fucking spot.  Although I have no doubts whatsoever that the morning after effects of a vending machine burrito are pretty vengeful that has never stopped me before and I will be damned if thats going to change today! Burrito Box!

These Kids Might Get Expelled From High School But They Crushed It At The School of Life

OC Register – The principal of Corona del Mar High School has recommended expulsion for the students who officials believe hacked into the school’s computers to change grades and access tests, according to Newport-Mesa Unified officials.  District spokeswoman Laura Boss initially said that school administrators began hearing rumors of Lai’s involvement in student cheating earlier this school year and shared that with their school resource officer. Later she clarified that school administrators became aware of a cheating incident last school year, which a tutor was rumored to be a part of. Police investigated the rumors but “there was not enough evidence to pursue the tutor involvement rumor,” Boss said.  Scott and other administrators declined to say how they made the connection that Lai and the students may have worked together using the device. District spokeswoman Laura Boss would not say whether the discovery of the hacking device broke the case.  Scott said the incident could change attitudes toward cheating. Previously, she said, students were aware that cheating went on and either accepted it or participated in it without reporting it to authorities.

Look these kids might get expelled from high school but they get an A+ in real life problem solving.  Hacking into the schools network to change grades and get early access to tests is impressive as shit, let alone for a bunch of high school kids.  At that age I was way to preoccupied with figuring out who we could get to buy us beers and seeing if there was some way to get my dick touched.  But these kids decided none of this stuff the teachers were yammering on about would be useful to them and it would just be way easier to Swordfish everyone and just change the grades themselves rather than actually learning what they were being taught.  Which is probably going to get them kicked out of school, but so what?  I have strong reason to believe these kids are going to be just fine.  They obviously have some computer skills and an abundance of intelligence.  They’re more qualified for most jobs than I am.  The fact that they managed to get away with it for that long in a high school environment is pretty damn good though it seems suspicious that  the school administrators wont release how they put this whole thing together.  Generally speaking that only means one thing: a rat.  Somebody had to have squealed on these kids and it really is a crying shame because with that kind of a “fake it til you make it” attitude they seem destined to be going places.

Want To Watch LA Dodgers Star Yasiel Puig Get Arrested?

This is the video from Yasiel’s arrest for driving 110mph on a Florida Highway a few weeks back. My key takeaway from this video as a mediocre a best Spanish speaker is this: Yasiel refers to himself in the third person by his last name.  Just referencing himself as “Puig”.  Excellent.  Just simply spectacular.  I mean Puig is starting to take this whole “Ricky Being Ricky” persona to the max.  This video (which is awesome) just goes to show why the off-season can not end soon enough for the Los Angeles Dodgers.  They need to get this kid into their Spring Training Complex ASAP so they can attempt to keep an eye on him and maybe keep him out of trouble.

Romina Gachoy Makes Me Want To Visit Uruguay

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Romina Gachoy is a spanish language actress and model from Uruguay.  I think.  She truly does not exist in the english language for some reason.  Which is really way too fucking bad because most gringos are really missing out on something special.  This chica flat out dominates the instagram game.  I wish I could tell you guys a little bit more about her but like I mentioned earlier, no es en ingles y yo no hablo mas espanol and I am far too lazy to use a translator.  As an apology for not doing more legwork on her actual background here is an extended gallery.  As always, enjoy:

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Steven Seagal Wants to Run For Gov of Arizona

pictured above: the next Governor of Arizona

Daily Beast – With Arnold Schwarzenegger out of office, there’s obviously an opening for an action star-turned politician in elected office. Enter Steven Seagal. The actor said earlier this week that he is considering running for governor of Arizona, following his collaboration with Sheriff Joe Arpaio for a reality television show. The show, filmed in Arizona in 2011, will start airing this month on the Reelz Network. Seagal said he wants to enhance border security, an issue he believes in even more strongly after his friendship with Arapio. “When somebody asks if Joe Arpaio’s a racist, I’m not going to say I don’t think so,” Seagal said. “I’m going to say I know he’s not a racist. He doesn’t care what nationality you are. He cares if you’re a criminal.

So this is a thing, a thing that is real in this actual world.  Steven Seagal is considering a run for Governor of Arizona because back in 2011 he was on a reality TV show playing policeman in Mariacopa County, Arizona with the worst law enforcement official in ‘Murica! Sheriff Joe Arpaio and somehow really liked it.  If you’ve ever been to Arizona you know that this is truely the first sign of lunacy.  Apparently Seagal’s entire campaign platform is going to be something along the lines of “hey Mex-ee-cans, the fuck yew think yer doin here? Get back over the fence!” because that’s Sheriff Joe’s bag.  And you can relax guys because its definitely not that Sheriff Joe is just some power mad racist old white man because Sheriff Joe is totally NOT a racist.  Gov Seagal doesn’t just think Arpaio’s not a racist, he knows Sheriff Joe isn’t a racist.  Shit I bet he even tips his gardeners around the holidays.

PS –

If this actually comes to fruition and we get to Marked For Death running the cowboy state of Arizona then I say we here in the Golden State need to hop to it and get the Governator back in Sacramento.  We simply can not allow Arizona to have an action star Governor right in our eyes like that? They’re going to have a more famouse action star Governor than the home of Hollywood? Bullfuckingshit! We need vote Ahnold back into the Governor’s Mansion (we have one of those right? I mean I know Arnold has his own but does one come with the job? Probably) and have ourselves a good old fashioned no holds barred Governor vs Governor Hell-In-A-Cell.  I would watch the ever living shit out of that fight.

Double PS –
Governator Schwartenager wins this thing in a bloodbath. He single handedly exploded a Predator that one time. Oh and he’s a T-800, duh

Kanye West Just Will Not Get It

coinye today

HuffPo – Kanye West is not happy about “Coinye,” a new digital currency created by anonymous coders that bears his name and face.  West’s lawyers filed a cease-and-desist letter against Coinye’s creators on Monday, arguing that the cryptocurrency represents a trademark infringement, according to the Wall Street Journal.  “Given Mr. West’s wide-ranging entrepreneurial accomplishments, consumers are likely to mistakenly believe that Mr. West is the source of your services,” the document reads.

Either Kanye West simply does not get it or he is doing a sublime job of trolling us all.  I used to think he was just a musical genius acting out (it happens) then I though maybe he just really loved the attention so he started trolling us, now I think Kanye may have actually lost himself.  Like at this point HE doesn’t even know what the hell he’s doing anymore. He has basically become Randy Marsh coaching Sarcastaball when he can not stop being sarcastic:

Now he’s having his attorney send out cease and desist orders against some nerds proving once again that he just doesn’t get it.  Kanye might actually be the musical genius of a generation he claims to be but nobody can pay attention to the art he’s creating when he’s doing stupid shit like this, becoming a caricature of himself.  He’s so defensive of his own ego at this stage in the game that he can’t even realize this shit should be way beneath him.  Homie shouldn’t even be acknowledging this noise.  For real, would anyone know what the hell Coinye is without him blowing this whole thing out of proportion, filing this lawsuit and giving these guys all the PR they could ever dream of (as well as a blogging gold mine)? Probably not.  But now because he had to kick and scream about someone making fun of him we all get to sit around pointing and laughing at his expense once again.  C’mon man get your act together.  You are a magnificently talented artist.  You’re better than this.