Category Archives: NFL

NFL Division Round Picks

Went 1-1-2 ATS Wildcard Weekend after getting lucky and locking in the Chiefs +1 early on in the week.  I went 2-2 if you take the point spread out of things, so the absolute definition of mediocrity.  Could have been worse though so we’re going to put that all behind us, its the Divisional Round and we have a whole new slate of games.  The power players are all in action this week and we have four regular season rematches with one of them being the third act in an AFC West drama.  Lets get on with the picks for the Divisional Round of the 2013 National Football League Playoffs:

New Orleans @ Seattle (-7.5)

You know this isn’t what New Orleans wanted to see.  Fresh off of the franchise’s first ever road playoff win against an over-matched Eagles team they now get to travel up to the Pac Northwest and their own personal House of Horrors.  The last time we saw the Saints travel to The Emerald City the Seahawks took Drew Brees & Co out behind the woodshed and gave them some Deliverence style hospitality on MNF for all the world to see.  New Orleans last playoff trip to Seattle wasnt any better, that was the game where the defending Super Bowl Champs were introduced to a freshly de-Buffalo’ed Marshawn Lynch who went fucking BEASTMODE on the entire Saints defense, emasculating them all individually in the process.

The Picks:

ATS: Seahwaks – 7.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

Indy (+7) @ New England

After a ridiculous and frantic comeback in the second half at home last week for his first career playoff victory Andrew Luck will now lead his Colts into Foxboro to attempt to get his first road playoff win.  The Colts come in about as hot as they possibly can and are the trendy pick for a surprise Super Bowl run.  Unfortunately for the Colts the only reason they had to complete the second greatest comeback in NFL post season hearing and all of the heroics from Shrek Luck was because in the biggest game of his career to date he played about as poorly as possible for the first 30 min.  That shit will not fly this weekend.  That’s not Fat Andy Reid and a Chiefs franchise that has the stink of failure hanging over them across the field on Saturday evening.  While this Patriots defense has had crippling injury after crippling injury this year I simply can not envision Luck overcoming all of those mistakes a second time especially since this incarnation of the Patriot offense can take the ball and grind 6min of game time off of the clock if need be.

The picks:

ATS: Colts +7

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

San Francisco @ Carolina (+1.5)

.The 49ers come into this game fresh off of one of the colder games in recent memory in a dirt parking lot in Green Bay that provided the perfect ending to a truly Wildcard Weekend facing Cam Newton in his post-season debut.  After road teams went 3-1 in the Wildcard Weekend SF is appartently the sexy pick as this weekends road victors.  I don’t see it.  The Panthers have been one of the best teams in football the last several m,onthysa and thats not because of Cam but rather because of their defense.  In what should be a hard hitting and low scoring affair the Panthers should improve to 2-0 vs SF this season as the defense should carry them ton victory.

The Picks:

ATS: Panthers + 1.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

San Diego (+9.5) @ Denver

The Chargers have a little bit of momentum, go into Mile High as the only team in football to beat Peyton in Denver this season and they have every reason in the world to believe in themselves.  For that exact same reason I’m picking against the Chargers straight up this week. This is what I said in my picks column from last week about the San Diego Super Chargers, “they sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it” and I was right.  Now I’m going to ride that philosophy this week.  When you factor in the point spread I like the Chargers because the simply do not get blown out.

The Picks:

ATS: Chargers +9.5

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

Phil Rivers Bolo Tie Swag Goes to Eleven

philip-rivers-bolo-tie-bengals-win“Hey Phil we just went on the road and dick stomped  a tough Cincinnati defense in some pretty shitty weather, you ready to for your post game presser?”
“Yup, lemme just grab my finest bolo tie and we’re all good to go.”

I’m happy I’m not Denver right about now because let me tell you something, you DO NOT want to fuck with a man in a bolo tie. For proof look no further than yourself, have you gentle reader ever willingly crossed a man in a bolo tie? How about anyone you’ve ever known? No you havent and no they haven’t. You know how I know the answers to those questions? No one has ever trifled with a man in a bolo tie and lived to tell the tale.  The bolo tie is a look reserved for men that mean business. You know what Im trying to say, Im trying to say its time to get down to  business cause its business time.

its business, its business time

Good thing for Denver that Rivers doesnt also have a mustache to complete the look because then, ooh brother, then they’d be in a whole ‘nother world of hurt. Imagine how powerful and manly of a mustache Philip must grow.  Like a manlier Burt Reynolds.  Luckily enough we here aboard the OneLastLine have the latest in mustache adding technology on hand and we are not afraid to use it:


Boom. Mustached. Ferocious. Get it #17! Alright Denver consider this your official notice.  Philip is coming and he’s bringing his bolo ties with him. You’ve been warned.

What We Learned: Wildcard Weekend Edition


Absolutely bananas way to get this NFL post season underway.  All kinds of things happened on the gridiron (does anyone still call it that? Feel like I havent heard it in a while) from historic comebacks to clock mismanagement to Andy Dalton doing Andy Dalton things and a game played on a dirt parking lot in arctic temps.  Lots of things going on so lets see what we learned this Wildcard Weekend as we prepare for the next round of games this coming weekend.

Colts 45 Chiefs 44


This was an absolutely wild game that set the tone for the weekend and saw all kinds of offensive playoff records being set amid one of the biggest comebacks in NFL post season history.

-You could kind of feel this one coming in the 1st half.  We’ve all seen it before when a team commits a major football faux pas and blows their load too early in a big game.

-It seemed like Kansas City was just playing too well too earl.  Every break was going their way, all of Alex Smith’s miraculous shovel passes found friendly hands and Andrew Luck played about as poorly as he possibly could

-And the Andrew Luck Playoff Comeback narrative was going to play amazing in the media. Indy came out of locker room, quickly went down 28 and then proceeded to take the game away from KC.

-This loss makes it an even 20yrs since Joe Montana led the Chiefs’ franchise to its last playoff victory.

-I mentioned in my picks blog prior to the weekend’s games that laying any money on Fat Andy Reid on the road in the playoffs is a terrifying proposition because of all of that wonderful clock management ability he’s shown over the years.

-Wouldnt you know it, suddenly down 1 but driving the Chiefs come out of the two minute warning break and…promptly burn their last time out. The king is dead, long live the king.

-That last Indy TD was a gift for anyone that had KC +1, pretty much ensured at worst a push and with Big Ref in charge of the clock that was really comforting

Saints 24 Eagles 23


What an opening day of the post season we got this year. Jesus, two games decided by one point played in wildly different styles. Great stuff.

-Both offenses came out of the gates sluggish in this one. They managed to find some rhythm in the second half and started exchanging scores.

-The self inflicted head injury to Keenan Lewis allowed Foles to find some receivers open in space and for a brief moment in time it looked like the Eagles were going to pull this one out and continue the Saints’ road playoff woes.

-That is until the Iggles somehow managed to allow Darren Sproles to return the kick off back to midfield. Couple that with 15yds for a horse collar tackle and the Saints were in business.

-At the time it seemed like that horse collar tackle was a neccessary evil but hindsight being what it is one has to wonder if maybe the Eagles would have been in better shape had that tackle been missed and Sproles took it to the house with more than 3 minutes to go.  That’s an awful lot of Armchair QBing but worth a mention for sure.

-Then Chuck Kelly, apparently a graduate of the Andy Reid School of Clock Management called a mad weird time out prior to the 2-minute warning. Just a complete and utter Fat Andy-esque ending to that game.

Chargers 27 Bengals 10


What the fuck was with this game? Zero rhythm at all, injury time outs, penalties and booth reviews all over the place. The final 2 min of the 1st half took roughly 45 min.

-My notes from this game can be found by clicking on me

-Oh and this game also provided us with this little gem of a stat from everyone’s favorite maybe human Darren Rovell

well now I just feel really fuckin old. thanks a lot, dick

49ers 23 Packers 20


About as entertaining of end to the weekend as anyone could have asked for.  This game saw offense in flurries towards the ends of both halves with some stagnant offense/good defense played in between.

-The 49ers dominated the 1st Qtr and yet somehow came away with only two FGs.  They had GB beat on both sides of the ball and the Packers just  looked flat out lifeless

-That is until Truman Williams undercut Vernon Davis on a ball under thrown by Kaepernick which breathed some life into the Green Bay side especially after Truman buried his helmet into Kaepernick’s.

-Truman Williams lived out the dream of many an NFL defender on that one.  Got to believe that in this day and age of Roughing the Passer every defenders dream is to be returning a turn over and see the QB lowering his head to make the tackle.

-I have to think that someone on the San Francisco sidelines grabbed Kap the second he got off of the field to remind him that “making tackles with your helmet” is no where to be found in his job description

-The INT really did provide the spark that Green Bay needed in the 2nd Qtr as the Packer marched down the field and scored the games first TD on a beautiful throw to Jordy Nelson.

-Hey guys did you know it was cold in Green Bay yesterday? Like super cold.  At least Joe Buck handled the elements well and didnt whine on national TV for 3 hours, that would have sucked.

Wild Card Playoffs - San Francisco 49ers v Green Bay Packers

-After a punt happy 3rd Qtr both teams got their offenses in gear just in time to give us a fantastic finish

-How Randal Cobb can continually find an open pocket in the middle of the field when Rodgers breaks the pocket is surreal.

-Oh and apparently holding doesn’t apply in Green Bay to the Packers.  Good to know for next season.


-When the 49ers got the ball back with 5min to go in a tie game I had the old “here we go again” feeling regarding Kaepernick and the Packers.  He broke the pocket for a few big runs and the rest of the time Harbaugh just used Frank Gore as the battering ram that he is.

-The Packers defensive deficiencies were glaringly apparent on that final drive.  They just could not muster up an answer for the monster that Frank Gore is which allowed SF to set up Phil Dawson for a nice easy chip shot.

-Which was essential because in those temps he was basically kicking a rock and for a split second it appeared that kick was going to be blocked (he was called offsides but whatever, it makes the story more dramatic) and then that it might screwball itself wide right but found itself true through the uprights. Ball game San Francisco.

Next week we have four rematches from earlier in the regular season and one round three between division rivals.  We’ll get into that later this week in a Division Round Picks post but lets all just hope that we get as good of a slate of football next weekend as we did this weekend.

Biggest Day For San Diego Sports In A Long Time

2013-10-17 10.38.15

Yup, it was a great day to be in San Diego. As opposed to all of those other days, when its also great to be in San Diego.

Mark it down, Sunday 05 January 2014 was one of the best days in San Diego sports history.  That may be a sad statement but being sad doesn’t make it not true.  A Chargers road playoff win immediately follow by the San Diego State Men’s Basketball team going on the road to Lawrence, KS and picking up one of the biggest win in the program’s 93 year history.   Has to be the biggest day in this town sports-wise since either the Chargers making it to the Super Bowl in ’94 or the Padres clinching the National League in ’98. Oh ya and while we were watching the rest of the country freeze their balls off it was 70° outside of my front door.  Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

The day did end on a sad note as we found out that WWII and Korean War Veteran, long time Padres broadcaster and overall terrific human Jerry Coleman died at the age of 89.  We should all absolutely take a moment and salute this great American who squeezed more out of life than many of us could ever dream of.  Jerry Coleman loved life and San Diego and I’m sure he would want us to enjoy what was a great day in America’s Finest City.

Lets walk through this day chronologically:

Chargers 27 Bengals 10


In the only contest of Wildcard Weekend to be decided by more than one score the Chargers went into the Queen City and not only easily covered the +7 spread but also won going away. Too bad nobody saw that coming.

-This game was fairly ugly and marred by penalties and reviews but Andy “The Ginger Rifle” Dalton took ugly to the next level.

-All the credit in the world to the Bolts for capitalizing on those mistakes.  It’s exactly the kind of thing that championship-caliber teams do.

-Losing Hardwick on the opening drive disjointed the offense and it seemed fairly apparent that Phillip had zero faith in his pass protection early and kept quickly getting to his checkdown backs.

-Luckily enough for the Chargers they actually made a prudent offseason move and signed Little Danny Woodhead away from the Patriots.  He may be the best non-rookie FA signing in team history.

-He’s exactly what this (and every offense) needs: a spark plug that can keep and offense churning when things arent coming easy, a sneaky red zone option, a 3rd down back with a nose for the sticks.

-Even with all that it seemed like Mike McCoy forgot that he was allowed to throw the ball. They finished the 1st half with only 1 reception by a WR and zero for Antonio Gates.  That probably isnt going to work again next week,

-This team actually made the proper adjustments at halftime, as opposed to whatever it was that Norv and Marty did at halftime of playoff games (played Hungry Hungry Hippos?) and came out throwing the ball with some success.

-The Ginger Rifle and the Bengals  came out throwing in the 2nd half as well, fortunately he was also finding plenty of open Chargers to throw to.

-The Chargers actually looked well coached and head into Denver knowing that they’re the only team to defeat Peyton Manning in Mile High this year.

Aztecs 61 Jayhawks 57

sdsu5San Diego State, where when you lose at least you’re still in San Diego.  And when you win you get to be in San D-fucking-eggo!

Without even having to change the channel after the Chargers purchased their tickets to Denver the Aztecs began one of the biggest regular season wins in program history.  SDSU came out of the gates confident and quickly staked themselves to a lead they would never relinquish.  This was the first time Kansas has lost a non-conference home game since 2006 and is a huge win for San Diego State. A few notes from the game:

-Make no mistake about it San Diego State came out and beat Kansas and the number back bear that out: SDSU_KU

-Thats not luck when you hold Andrew Wiggins to 14 points on 4-14 shooting and Kansas as a team to 17-57 on the floor. No, thats not luck. That is just plain good old fashioned team defense

-The most encouraging of these numbers is the 12-18 on FT’s.  Bad shooting from the charity stripe has long been a weak spot on Fisher’s Aztecs and that kind of thing kills in March.

-Also very encouraging was SDSU’s 51-39 rebounding advantage.  The Aztec’s have had an awfully hard time trying to replace Kawhi Leonard’s production in the paint (for good reason) since he left for the NBA but it seems this year they have something of a solution in the form of Tulane transfer Josh Davis.  Davis’ game is like that of a poor man’s Leonard and I do not mean that as an insult in any way

-These are the kinds of wins that help out in the recruiting battle, although with a Top 10 Incoming Recruiting Class for 2014 it’s not like Fisher and his staff really needed the help

– At the 11min mark SDSU had the ball and a 38-31 lead and all I could think was “thank god Jamaal Franklin isn’t here anymore”. And its true.  Sad, but true.  Franklin probably would have blown that game.

-This team came in and, most importantly remained calm, cool and collected the entire game.  Coach Fish used his time outs prudently when he could see his team begining to look a little frantic on the offensive end.

-Even when Fogg Allen Field House turned into the most hostile crowd any Aztecs had seen since Cortez landed on the Gulf Coast they stayed under control

-Their composure and ability to perform in the moment in the face an angry mob was never more evident than at the 3:50 mark of the second half up 2 Xavier Thames snaked his way to the rack, kissed the ball off of the glass to the trailing Skylar Spencer.  A beautifully executed play to silence a raucous crowd

-Xavier Thames is finally healthy and is a certified Prime Time Player.  He elevates his game when it matters most and can create his own offense when the Aztecs get stagnant.  In other words the perfect kind of player for March success.

-This may be the best team of the Fisher Era and I do not say that lightly.  This incarnation of the Aztecs can rebound (Davis, O’Brien, Shepherd), has a true scorer that can create their own offense (Thames), some very solid options off a deep bench (Polee, Shrigley, Johnston, Quinn), they shoot free throws better than any past team and now we know they are battle tested and fearless.

-This team could make a deep run in the NCAA Tournament and if they can keep playing this way through the MWC schedule could be looking at 2 or possibly a 1 seed come Selection Sunday

-That was the last of the non-con schedule for this season so its all Mountain West all the time until we get to the NCAA Tournament.

-Next game is this Wednesday at home vs MWC foe Boise State coming off of an NCAA Tourney appearance last year. Game tips at 8:05pm PST at Viejas Arena on campus at SDSU. 1st home game back after the winter break so you know The Show should be rocking.


it’s harder than you might think to find pictures of girls wearing SDSU gear since they spend so much of their time wearing not clothes.  you’ll just have to trust me that these are (or were) SDSU girls.  Have I mentioned how much I love this city?

If You Were Carlos Hyde How Pissed Would You Be That Matt Millen Said You Were “Going To Be An Excellent Pro”?

play above for the audio from the game

Infinity.  I would be infinity pissed off.  There is literally no scale humans could ever come up with nor comprehend that would be able to measure my level of anger towards Matt Millen.  Getting an endorsement from Millen that you’re “going to be an excellent pro” is effectively the kiss of death on your NFL career before halftime of the Orange Bowl.  Remember Matt Millen is the man that spent seven years carefully crafting the 0-16 Detroit Lions, his Magnum Opus if you will.  This is the man that in consecutive years at the top end of th 1st round of the NFL Draft selected Joey Harrington (3rd Overall 2002), Charles Rogers (2nd Overall 2003), Roy Williams (WR, 7th Overall 2004), Mike WIlliams (WR USC, 10th Overall 2005), Ernie Sims (LB, 9th Overall 2006), Calvin Johnson (2nd Overall 2007) and Gosder Cherilus (OT, 17th Overall 2008).  Obviously Megatron #2 overall in ’07 was a homerun in the draft that saw JaMarcus Russel go 1st Overall but other than that, woof.  And there werent any late round gems in there either.  It’s too bad to because Hyde’s draft stock has been rising pretty meteorically towards the end of his senior campaign and had positioned himself to possibly be the first Tailback taken off the board this April.  That is until Matt Millen interfered.  Sorry Carlos.  I feel for you my man, thats a tough beat to dance to.


Why? Why Matt Millen? Why would you do that to me?

Lets Make Some NFL Playoff Picks


Everyone else on tv and the interwebs seems to be picking this weekend’s slate of games against the spread and I’m just as if not smarter than all these motherfuckers so I figure I should get in the game myself, here’s my picks for Wild Card Weekend:

Kansas City +1 @ Indy (Sat  1:35pm PST)

The first game of the weekend is also probably the toughest call, Indy giving 1 point at home is basically Vegas just throwing their hands up in the air and saying “fuck it, you guys figure it out”.  On one side you have an amazingly inconsistent Colts team with (a wildly overrated) Andrew Luck at the helm.  No other team benifited more from the Patriots breaking the Texans sole on MNF towards the end of last season than Indianapolis.  If there were another half decent team in the AFC South the Colts probably wouldn’t even be here.  However picking Andy Reid and Alex Smith on the road in the playoffs is kind of a terrifying proposition since you know, Andy Reid will be in charge of clock management.  In the end on this one I think the loss of Reggie Wayne earlier this season is going to kill them in this game and the Chiefs should lean heavily on Jamaal Charles and their Defense.

Gun to my head I think Jam Chuck carries the Chiefs offense, lets Alex Smith do his minimalist QB thing and take any time management issues out of Big Red’s hands by grinding out clock on the ground.  The pick if I had to: Chiefs + 1


New Orleans @ Philly – 2.5 (5:10pm PST)

The Saints have a tough time playing on the road.  Charlie Kelly’s Eagles are fahkin rollin along right now.  The game is in Philladelphia and the weather should be just alright saturday.  It’s going to be cold, around 20 at kickoff, but should be snow and relatively wind free.  Plus Shady McCoy has a championship belt.

Got to believe that No Huddle No Mercy allows Shady to put off our rock, paper, scissors title belt unification match for the ages another week.  The Pick: Eagles – 2.5


San Diego +7 @ Cincinnati (Sun 10am PST)

I love the Chargers to win this game outright for the same reason I fully expected them to lose last week to KC (and boy howdy did they ever try to lose to Andy Reid’s JV Squad), its the San Diego Chargers. They sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it. This is exactly who they’ve been in the Phil Rivers Era. I know Cinnci is a ball hawking Defense and that they crank that D up a notch at home. I am aware that they went undefeated at home this season and that it will be what meteorologists refer to as cold as balls Sunday afternoon in the Queen City but this is EXACTLY the kind of game the Chargers win. And does anybody really trust Marvin Lewis and the Red Rocket in a big game? When was the last time anyone saw the Bengles (or any key component of their current roster) win or even make a significant (positive) play in a huge game? I got nothing.

Despite all the evidence pointing the other way my pick here is: Chargers +7 (+225 on the M/L is worth a thought as well)SD_Chargers1

San Fransisco – 3 @ Green Bay (1:35pm PST)

Man oh man.  The NFL is closing out the Wildcard Weekend with a fucking bang.  And by bang I mean what is predicted to be one of the colder games in recent memory, with a high of FIVE and a low of MINUS TWENTY FOUR! I had to spell those numbers out because I wanted to make sure everyone understood that wasn’t some sort of typo.  Kickoff for this game is set for 3:35pm local time and the sun will be gone dragging with it whatever little warmth it was providing.  Its always going to be tempting to hammer GB catching three points at home with Aaron Rodgers.  Its even more tempting when you factor in a California team traveling to those kinds of temps.  But the thing is at those temps all advantage for being a cold weather team is fucking scrubbed.  At those temps its just fucking cold no matter whom you are.  Also its worth factoring in that fresh break on ARodges collar bone is going to sting like a mother in this cold.  Once you factor in the weather this game should come down to Frank Gore and Eddie Lacy bashing into the opponents defense.  While its always difficult to pick against the Packers at Lambeau but they arent unbeatable in playoffs at home as history has shown us.

The Packers come riding in hot after that Chicago win but I have a strange feeling that Frank Gore will end up as a battering ram and SanFran’s D tends to travel pretty well.   Yay area rejoice The Pick: 49ers -3


Shady McCoy Thinks His Belt Is Better Than Mine


You think your belt is better than mine Shady? Are you challenging me to some sort of a duel? I have to believe thats what this is. Shady read my blog about my awesome Sgt Slaughter belt and decided to flaunt this one on national tv right in my eye. Cant let this stand, no sir not me. Not now. Not nevah. So what shall it be Shady? I feel the traditional pistols at dawn may be a tad over the top so lets settle this like real men: rock, paper, scissors best 3 out of 5. You put your belt up Ill put my belt up. It’ll be like a title unification bout. Lets make it happen Shady, dont be scurred. Im right here ready for you, hungry.