Category Archives: MLB

The San Diego Padres Are Officially The Best At Being The Worst


After getting swept by the Dodgers and shutout in all three games the San Diego Padres are the first team in the 100+ year history of Major League Baseball to be shut out in 3 straight games to open a season. The previous record was 26 consecutive scoreless innings by the St. Louis Cardinals to open the 1943 campaign (those Cardinals incidently went on to win 105 games, but thats irrelevant in our case). This comes fresh on the heals of their 15-0 Opening Day fiasco, which is now the most lopsided shutout in MLB Opening Day history. The previous record holder you ask? The Pittsburgh Pirates trounced the Cincinnati Reds 14-0 pm Opening Day…in 1911. 105 fucking years ago. This is just poor baseball.

This weekend the Padres head to Denver for the Rockies home opener. If they can not sonehow, someway scratch a few runs across in Coors Field this weekend I nominate the Padres for relegation. Send the entire organization to El Paso and call up the Chihuahuas to San Diego. Make the Padres earn their way back to Major Leagues because they definitely dont deserve to be there. I’ve joked for years that the Padres are a Quadruple A baseball team but this is worse than Quadruple A. Im not even sure this is Triple A level baseball.

I didnt expect the Padres to be any good in 2016, but this? This is flat out unacceptable. Silver lining is that there should be plenty of good seats available this year.

Whats The O/U on Pounds of BBQ That Big Papi and The Big Hurt Are Going To Crush in KC?


Big Papi just casually taking a selfish with Big Hurt while wearing roughly $100,000 worth of diamonds on his left hand/wrist. His left hand is definitely worth more money than my life. The real question is which ring is he wearing? I hope it’s the 2004.

PS –
For those of you that will want to point out the Large Father doesn’t know how to selfie because clearly a third party took that picture just do me a favor go back and read his tweet again. He’s taking a selfish which is when someone takes a picture of you taking a selfie which is a thing me and David Ortiz just invented.

Royals vs Giants World Series Preview

After what seems like an eternity between baseball games the World Series kicks off tonight in Kansas City with what should be an absolutely electric crowd at Kauffman Stadium. So before first pitch tonight lets have a little preview of the 2014 World Series.

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Want To Watch LA Dodgers Star Yasiel Puig Get Arrested?

This is the video from Yasiel’s arrest for driving 110mph on a Florida Highway a few weeks back. My key takeaway from this video as a mediocre a best Spanish speaker is this: Yasiel refers to himself in the third person by his last name.  Just referencing himself as “Puig”.  Excellent.  Just simply spectacular.  I mean Puig is starting to take this whole “Ricky Being Ricky” persona to the max.  This video (which is awesome) just goes to show why the off-season can not end soon enough for the Los Angeles Dodgers.  They need to get this kid into their Spring Training Complex ASAP so they can attempt to keep an eye on him and maybe keep him out of trouble.

USMC WWII & Korean War Bomber Pilot Turned Longtime Padres Broadcaster Jerry Coleman Has Died

JerryColeman24September1924 – 05January2014

San Diego Union-Tribune – Jerry Coleman, a two-time war hero who became one of the most endearing figures in Padres history, passed away Sunday afternoon at the age of 89.  Coleman died at Scripps Hospital from complications of head injuries he’d suffered in a fall last month.  In 33 years as broadcaster of Padres games, Coleman became the link between the major league team and San Diego, and to many he became its very identity.  Coleman’s humility and self-effacing ways belied the fact that he was a Marine Corps aviator — in both World War II and the Korean War — and an All-Star second baseman who once was Most Valuable Player of a World Series. That he won over so many people in the relatively unseen realm of a radio booth hid the fact he was an unfailingly dapper gentleman.  “Memorial Day was tough on him,” said former Padres play-by-play man Mel Proctor. “On Memorial Day, he’d get a tear in his eye. Jerry volunteered great baseball stories, but very few war stories. It was too hard for him.” Conversely, Coleman’s military experience and appreciation for those in the service made him special in the eyes and ears of San Diego baseball fans, so many of them either active duty or retired.  “To him, the Marine Corps was No. 1 after family,” Leitner said. “This is a guy who wore the pinstripes at Yankee Stadium, who roomed with Mickey Mantle, who had his picture taken with Joe DiMaggio, who played in World Series and was MVP of one of them. Yet he’d tell you that his time with the Marines was more important to him. Nobody shot at him at Yankee Stadium.”

Above is just a quick excerpt from a much longer article from the San Diego U-T.  I don’t do this often but this is just me paying my respects to a great man and there is no way myself or anyone else is going to be able to do this man’s life justice but Chris Jenkins’ article does as good a job as anyone could ask for.  I suggest giving it a read.

Decorated WWII and Korean War Bomber pilot and longtime Padres announcer Jerry Coleman passed away on Sunday afternoon at the age of 89.  This is a big, big loss for San Diego and for America really. I didn’t want to be the harbinger of bad news to rain on everyone’s parade after what has been a banner day for sports here in America’s Finest City but I would be remissed not to make any mention of the passing of a San Diego Icon and a true American Hero. He only spent one season in a Padre uniform (McDonald’s Founder and then Padres Owner (as well as noted crazy person) Ray Kroc hired Coleman to manage the club for the 1980 season despite Coleman’s complete lack of coaching experience)  but his is one of the five numbers the franchise has retired in Center Field.  Coleman’s radio presence had diminished quite a bit in the last few years but his presence with the Padres organization and indeed with the city of San Diego as whole will never be diminished.

Semper Fidelis and God Speed Marine, You Are Relieved of the Watch

Below is a great interview with Jerry Coleman from 2012.  Just a fantastic conversation that truly shows the personality and kindness that the world has lost

Jose Canseco’s New Life Mission: US Congressman

Whew, the fine people of the great state of Nevada can relax and breathe easy now.  In case anybody missed this in all of the maddness that was Week 17 I just wanted to let everyone know Jose Canseco wants to run for Congress.  Like US Congress.  As in the one in Washington DC.  All 4 of the state’s current sitting congressmen are up for re-election in 2014.   Jose Canseco to the rescue. Boom. You’re all welcome. For real though the people of Nevada dont even have to worry about congressional elections at this point, just write in Jose Canseco for all four of the seats and watch the problems begin to fix themselves.

I personally dont think this goes far enough. I know Big Mac is the hitting coach in LaLa Land but I feel like Jose should be able to talk him into leaving Chavez Ravine to reunite The Bash Brothers for a run at the White House in 2016. I’m starting it now Canseco/McGwire 2016! Bash Brothers For ‘Murica!

Honestly is there anything Jose Canseco CANT do? Or at least wont openly beg for on Twitter? Commissioner of Major League Baseball, Chicago Cubs manager, US Congressman from Nevada. One of the most interesting personalities on twitter without a doubt.

PS –

How relieved do you thing Gov Sandoval is? Jose was going to run for Governor but decided to allow Gov Sandoval to keep his job because he likes him too much. Thats a classy and respectable move by Representative Canseco right there, not forcing Gov Sandoval to hold a completely unscheduled and taxpayer funded Gubernatorial election just so he could steal his job.

“Dang, Jose Canseco just took all our Congressional seats again” – ‘Murica!

#yeswecanseco #cansecocongress #CansecoMcGwire2016 #BashBrosForMurica

Shin-Soo Choo Signs Massive Deal With Texas Rangers


The spending race in the American League West is on in full swing.  After watching the Angels break the bank (with zero success) the last two winters and the Mariners give Bobby Cano the keys to the castle a few weeks ago the Rangers went out and made their second big splash of the offseason.  The top FA left on the market since the Cano signing has been Shin-Soo Choo the on-base machine South Korean out fielder.  Today Choo and the Texas Rangers agreed to a 7 year/$130million deal. Several teams had been courting the services of Shin-Soo for a few weeks and reports are that he turned down 7yrs/$140mil from the Yankees last week and while it seems like on the surface he took less money the reality is that the state of Texas does not have an income tax.  Meaning the Yankees would have had to offer $147million to offset the taxes and match the $130mil from the Rangers.  Now that there are more markets capable of spending with the big boys it will be real interesting to see how state income taxes begin to impact negotiations.  IT is also worth noting that the state of Washington also has no income tax, something I’m sure Robinson Cano was made very aware of.  This spending race in the West is very reminiscent of the Space Race between the Red Sox and Yankees in the early 2000’s (even more similar, the Red Sox just won another World Series!).

As for on the field impact Choo played CF in Cincinnati last season but I can not foresee any way that he plays CF in Texas, he’s much better suited to play RF and Leonis Martin should have a stranglehold on the CF spot in Arlington.  I would imagine the Ron Washington will hit Choo in the lead-off spot seeing as last year he posted a .285 BA/.423 OBP/.885 OPS/112 BB.  With Choo getting on base at the top of the order (or conceivably in the 2 behind Profar) in front of the Prince/Beltre combo in a launching pad of a ballpark the Texas Rangers should put up some huge numbers this season.  This signing also puts the writing on the wall for Nelly Cruz in Texas, he effectively becomes the next best available bat on the market and there are a few teams out there in search of some middle of the lineup power.  Seattle seems to be the obvious landing spot for Cruz.  As built the Mariners are still one legit bat away from being a threatening lineup.  Counting on Corey Hart to protect Cano in the lineup is not the recipe for winning baseball.     Make no mistake about it somebody is going to have to overpay for and take a huge gamble on Nelson Cruz so it will most likely be a team where one additional bat would make a huge difference.  Baltimore would make sense for Cruz as the O’s are trying to compete and win right now, are in need of one more power bat in a hitters park and should be desperate enough.  Washington could probably use a little more pop to compliment their pitching staff (and hedge their bets on Ryan Zimmerman ever being back to the player he was) and my dark horse is the Cincinnati Reds.  They were in discussions with Choo and have some money to spend.  They don’t need a CF as now Billy Hamilton should certainty be their Opening Day CF and lead-off hitter.  Cruz would fit nicely into that line-up as good protection for Joey Votto or he could be slotted in between Brandon Phillips and Votto, though a top 4 of Hamilton, Phillips, Votto, Cruz would be able to hang some crooked numbers in Great American Ballpark,  Cincinnati is just going to depend on how much Cruz will be over payed.