Category Archives: Seasons

Does This Look Like The Face Of A San Diego Man Caught Wearing A Kardashian Hoodie In Las Vegas

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San Diego U-T – San Diegan Greg Ryan is living proof that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.  Over Christmas, the Patio Restaurant bar manager was spotted in Bellagio Casino’s arcade by reality show star Khloe Kardashian. He was wearing one of her track suits.

Gotta love how Khloe made sure to throw in that now they can “say they are unisex” just to make sure everyone knows that this is, indeed an article of female clothing.  Kick a man while he’s down why don’t ya? For fuck’s sake.  Thats a really tough break my man and I feel for you.  Could have easily been anyone of us and before you start crowing how that could never be you because you’re such an Eddie Tough Guy and would never wear female clothing you probably need to pump the brakes and think about how this guy ended up in these circumstances.  One second this poor shmo is lounging in his Vegas hotel room with his chick and she sends him down to the lobby to grab coffee or some other errand.  He figures why not, it’ll keep her happy and I can grab a drink or six while I’m down there.Figuring he wont be gone long and is still kind of hungover he heads out of the room and just grabs one of the sweatshirts on the chair by the door.  He doesn’t realize it’s hers until he gets into the elevator and just shrugs it off assuming that it’s the middle of the morning or day or whatever in Las Vegas and he’ll just anonymously blend into the sea of madness and lights that is Sin City.  Just minding his own business trying to just enjoy his cocktail and forget that for Christmas somebody got you a Kardashian brand hoodie, next second one of those bridge trolls is putting you on blast all over Instagram.

Don’t Worry ‘Murica! Boston Beatbox Is Here To Help You Ride Out This Polar Vortex

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2014-01-07 03.23.41oh ya, thats why I moved

I know the weather has been something of a miserable cunt for most of ‘Murica! over the last couple of weeks and I feel for my peoples in cold ass places. I do, I really do.  Especially considering that its already this bad this early.  Everyone is just staring down the barrel of what could be a very, very long winter in the Northern states.  But never fear, you are not forgotten.  We here aboard the OneLastLine want to help out in any way we possibly can (without leaving this amazingly warm little corner of the country),  With that in mind I present to you some videos that should heat you up and hopefully send your brain to its happy tropical place. Just keep telling yourself that summer will be here eventually, watch these videos on loop and you all should make it through these long cold dark days.

Twelve Days of XMas Are Complete! We Made It Everybody!

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Well here it is folks.  The culmination of a lot of smutty work.  Today is Christmas, effectively making it the 12th and final day of the holiday run up. I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Merry Christmas guys:

XMasHoe34

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Eleventh Day of XMas! Pipers Are Piping Tonight!

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This is it folks, the Eve of Baby Jesus miraculous shuffle down the virgin Mary’s birth canal.  We’ve come along way, stared at a lot of ass together of the past 10 days, so with only 1 more tyo go after today lets finish this bitch out a strong note.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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Hey Rest Of ‘Murica! Pick Your Teeth Up Because San Deigo Is DOMINATING XMas

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Hey rest of the country, eat your hearts out.  America’s Finest City just living up to it’s namesake and putting an absolute fucking beatdown on the rest of the country.  Especially my hometown of Peabody, MA.  You see those Temperature splits up there? SD’s low for the next week is higher than Peabody’s highs by an astounding 20 degrees.  This ladies and gents is how you Christmas,  Now if I could only set up a Penguin XMas parade we would be on top of the world.  The writing schedule is going to be fairly erratic this week but I promise we’ll be back to a full on bloggin schedule right after the New Year.  Until then I’m just going to post things that catch my eye, in addition to the final two days of the 12 Days Of Christmas Countdown.

 

Tenth Day of XMas! Lords A Leaping? Not On My Watch

We have officially hit the three-quarter stick on the way to Baby Jesus Day! To help all of my fine peoples get through this last holiday push your generous and benevolent Comandant Boston Beatbox is going to be posting some Hoe, Hoe, motherfucking Hoes.  Not only that but I’m also going to include the lyrics from the classic Twelve Days of Christmas that correspond with that Day of Christmas.  Thats right a new gallery of three sexified X-Mas themed pics accompanied by the stanza for that day of XMas will go up everyday from now until we hit paydirt.  By the end of this little experiment in my ability to commit to a long term project we should have a lovely little gallery and the complete words to The Twelve Days of Christmas.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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Women Need to Run for 5 hrs to Burn Off Christmas

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Daily Mail Women will need to run for five hours two minutes to burn off the food they eat on Christmas Day, while men face jogging for four hours 25 minutes, a study found.Women will consume 3,514 calories on December 25 and men a waist-expanding 3,640 calories – up to 76 per cent more than the recommended daily allowance.

Welp there you have it ladies.  As if you needed any further reasoning science is now officially assigning a number of hours required to run to burn off a Christmas spent indulging in sugarplums or whatever.   I personally have no issue with a girl getting down with the get down at the X-Mas dinner table. Do what you gotta do babe, Lord knows the winter holidays were made for wanton glutinous behavior. Just get that ass out the door bright and early. Get to working those 3500 calories off and I’ll see you in 5 hours 6 hours (just to be safe). Hell by then I’ll probably be hungry and need a sandwich or something anyway so in the end it all times out pretty well. Thanks science, good lookin out.