Category Archives: SoCal

Street Urchins Calling Themselves “Urban Travelers” Is Utterly Ridiculous

LA Times – To him, it’s another day on the streets. Some call him an “urban traveler,” “a crust punk” or worse. He and others like him — mostly young, homeless people who often travel in groups — roam beach cities begging for money, sleeping under the stars and trying to survive. They’re vexing to tourist-dependent spots from San Francisco to San Diego, where officials complain their gritty edge and sometimes violent tendencies intimidate locals and turn visitors off. “They can be very aggressive and very disruptive,” said San Diego City Councilman Ed Harris, who represents Ocean Beach, where homeless youth congregate on the sea wall, sleep on the beach and light illegal campfires. They’re not drawn exclusively to the West Coast but to other cities perceived as “cool,” such as Minneapolis-St. Paul; Denver; Portland, Ore.; and Seattle.

“Urban Travelers”! Ha! Yo, fuck these street urchins directly in their stupid road-grimy homeless faces. They’re a fucking scourge on society. I live in Ocean Beach and I understand why a person would choose to come here but guess what? Nobody wants to have to wake up and have a job and go make fucking money but we do because that’s how society works.  If you have zero interest in really contributing to society that’s fine, just go do it in the woods in Montana or Alaska or somewhere like that. Don’t be doing it in a place full of people who actually work to live there and then have the goddamn audacity to get all huffy when I tell you to stop sleeping in my fucking driveway. I can tell you first hand that there is always, 100% of the time a fairly sizable group of all variety of miscreants, hobos, urchins and junkies congregating and aggressively begging for money, playing shitty music on their  guitars and attempting to sell nickle bags of shitty, shitty weed along the sea wall. Get the fuck outta my face with this shit.  Seriously these “people” aren’t much higher than the common street rats they sleep next to every night.

PS –

The only time i do feel bad is when the vagrant has a dog but even then I only feel bad for the dog. The pup didnt choose to have a scumbag as an owner.

Burrito Vending Machine Is Intriguing To Say The Least

Why does the man reading this segment for the San Diego Union-Tribune have such a heavy British accent?  That doesn’t even begin to make any sense, if they wanted someone that sounded “ethnic” (as I’m sure they would put it) why wouldn’t they get somebody that had a slight Mexican accent?  Is it because a British accent seems more intelligent and trustworthy?  I find the whole thing a bit distracting.

Anyways as far the actual Burrito Box, I’m in favor of this.  I’m actually way more than in favor of this, I’m genuinely excited.  As of right now there’s just that one in Hollywood but I have to think this technology is just going to grow.  They’re never going to be able to replace a real life honest to god questionably documented mexican in a dirty taco shop kitchen but at 3am I’m pretty sure these things are Johnny on the fucking spot.  Although I have no doubts whatsoever that the morning after effects of a vending machine burrito are pretty vengeful that has never stopped me before and I will be damned if thats going to change today! Burrito Box!

NFL Division Round Picks

Went 1-1-2 ATS Wildcard Weekend after getting lucky and locking in the Chiefs +1 early on in the week.  I went 2-2 if you take the point spread out of things, so the absolute definition of mediocrity.  Could have been worse though so we’re going to put that all behind us, its the Divisional Round and we have a whole new slate of games.  The power players are all in action this week and we have four regular season rematches with one of them being the third act in an AFC West drama.  Lets get on with the picks for the Divisional Round of the 2013 National Football League Playoffs:

New Orleans @ Seattle (-7.5)

You know this isn’t what New Orleans wanted to see.  Fresh off of the franchise’s first ever road playoff win against an over-matched Eagles team they now get to travel up to the Pac Northwest and their own personal House of Horrors.  The last time we saw the Saints travel to The Emerald City the Seahawks took Drew Brees & Co out behind the woodshed and gave them some Deliverence style hospitality on MNF for all the world to see.  New Orleans last playoff trip to Seattle wasnt any better, that was the game where the defending Super Bowl Champs were introduced to a freshly de-Buffalo’ed Marshawn Lynch who went fucking BEASTMODE on the entire Saints defense, emasculating them all individually in the process.

The Picks:

ATS: Seahwaks – 7.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

Indy (+7) @ New England

After a ridiculous and frantic comeback in the second half at home last week for his first career playoff victory Andrew Luck will now lead his Colts into Foxboro to attempt to get his first road playoff win.  The Colts come in about as hot as they possibly can and are the trendy pick for a surprise Super Bowl run.  Unfortunately for the Colts the only reason they had to complete the second greatest comeback in NFL post season hearing and all of the heroics from Shrek Luck was because in the biggest game of his career to date he played about as poorly as possible for the first 30 min.  That shit will not fly this weekend.  That’s not Fat Andy Reid and a Chiefs franchise that has the stink of failure hanging over them across the field on Saturday evening.  While this Patriots defense has had crippling injury after crippling injury this year I simply can not envision Luck overcoming all of those mistakes a second time especially since this incarnation of the Patriot offense can take the ball and grind 6min of game time off of the clock if need be.

The picks:

ATS: Colts +7

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

San Francisco @ Carolina (+1.5)

.The 49ers come into this game fresh off of one of the colder games in recent memory in a dirt parking lot in Green Bay that provided the perfect ending to a truly Wildcard Weekend facing Cam Newton in his post-season debut.  After road teams went 3-1 in the Wildcard Weekend SF is appartently the sexy pick as this weekends road victors.  I don’t see it.  The Panthers have been one of the best teams in football the last several m,onthysa and thats not because of Cam but rather because of their defense.  In what should be a hard hitting and low scoring affair the Panthers should improve to 2-0 vs SF this season as the defense should carry them ton victory.

The Picks:

ATS: Panthers + 1.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

San Diego (+9.5) @ Denver

The Chargers have a little bit of momentum, go into Mile High as the only team in football to beat Peyton in Denver this season and they have every reason in the world to believe in themselves.  For that exact same reason I’m picking against the Chargers straight up this week. This is what I said in my picks column from last week about the San Diego Super Chargers, “they sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it” and I was right.  Now I’m going to ride that philosophy this week.  When you factor in the point spread I like the Chargers because the simply do not get blown out.

The Picks:

ATS: Chargers +9.5

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

These Kids Might Get Expelled From High School But They Crushed It At The School of Life

OC Register – The principal of Corona del Mar High School has recommended expulsion for the students who officials believe hacked into the school’s computers to change grades and access tests, according to Newport-Mesa Unified officials.  District spokeswoman Laura Boss initially said that school administrators began hearing rumors of Lai’s involvement in student cheating earlier this school year and shared that with their school resource officer. Later she clarified that school administrators became aware of a cheating incident last school year, which a tutor was rumored to be a part of. Police investigated the rumors but “there was not enough evidence to pursue the tutor involvement rumor,” Boss said.  Scott and other administrators declined to say how they made the connection that Lai and the students may have worked together using the device. District spokeswoman Laura Boss would not say whether the discovery of the hacking device broke the case.  Scott said the incident could change attitudes toward cheating. Previously, she said, students were aware that cheating went on and either accepted it or participated in it without reporting it to authorities.

Look these kids might get expelled from high school but they get an A+ in real life problem solving.  Hacking into the schools network to change grades and get early access to tests is impressive as shit, let alone for a bunch of high school kids.  At that age I was way to preoccupied with figuring out who we could get to buy us beers and seeing if there was some way to get my dick touched.  But these kids decided none of this stuff the teachers were yammering on about would be useful to them and it would just be way easier to Swordfish everyone and just change the grades themselves rather than actually learning what they were being taught.  Which is probably going to get them kicked out of school, but so what?  I have strong reason to believe these kids are going to be just fine.  They obviously have some computer skills and an abundance of intelligence.  They’re more qualified for most jobs than I am.  The fact that they managed to get away with it for that long in a high school environment is pretty damn good though it seems suspicious that  the school administrators wont release how they put this whole thing together.  Generally speaking that only means one thing: a rat.  Somebody had to have squealed on these kids and it really is a crying shame because with that kind of a “fake it til you make it” attitude they seem destined to be going places.

Empty Rafters In Anaheim

2014-01-07 20.06.52My seats were alright

I was at the Bruins vs Ducks game up in Anaheim Tuesday night and I noticed something.  Specifically this:

2014-01-07 20.48.19

Doesn’t it seem strange that the Honda Center (formerly The Pond, way cooler name) doesn’t have one single thing mentioning their 2007 Stanley Cup Championship? It’s not just me is it?  That’s really really strange, right?  I would think that an organization would want to somehow commemorate the single highest moment in the franchises history somewhere visible in their home arena.  I guess not though.  Some things just arent meant to be understood so I guess we’ll just chalk this one up to Southern California hockey and move on.

PS –

I also think its really strange that the crowd doesn’t do the “Quack, quack, quack” chant like in the Mighty Ducks movies.  Such a golden opportunity wasted. I would definitely try to get a quack quack quack chant going if I was a Ducks fan.

Don’t Worry ‘Murica! Boston Beatbox Is Here To Help You Ride Out This Polar Vortex


2014-01-07 03.23.41oh ya, thats why I moved

I know the weather has been something of a miserable cunt for most of ‘Murica! over the last couple of weeks and I feel for my peoples in cold ass places. I do, I really do.  Especially considering that its already this bad this early.  Everyone is just staring down the barrel of what could be a very, very long winter in the Northern states.  But never fear, you are not forgotten.  We here aboard the OneLastLine want to help out in any way we possibly can (without leaving this amazingly warm little corner of the country),  With that in mind I present to you some videos that should heat you up and hopefully send your brain to its happy tropical place. Just keep telling yourself that summer will be here eventually, watch these videos on loop and you all should make it through these long cold dark days.

People I Hate: Pedicab Drivers

I only sorta hate her

I will be the first to readily admit that there are millions of amazing things about living in San Diego but there are a few select things in America’s Finest City that just send me through the fucking roof.  One of those things is the pedicab drivers downtown, mostly in the Gaslamp.  I fucking hate them, like the type of hate I can feel resonating deep down in my bowns.  They’re just so damn ignorant and entitled it drives me fucking nuts,  They’re just slow and always in the way, randomly cutting across lanes of traffic hoping their flimsy little sheetmetal rickshaw will protect them from the cars.  Then they congregate along the sidewalk taking up half a fucking block’s worth of on street parking in a metroplitan city center.  It’s fucking lunacy!  They smell like shit and may be some of the most inconsiderate asshgoles on the face of the planet and not a single one of them speaks fucking english.  They’re all Turks and Russians hauling fat midwestern tourists around a city built on a series of hills all while blarring shitty music on a boombox from 2002.  Fuck all that and especially fuck them.  GTFO of my city!

PS –

I will say that the female pedicab drivers have phenomenal bodies and outstanding asses.  Just A-MAZING asses.  Now don’t get it twisted, I still hate them just them same, I just want to hate fuck some of them and then steal their work visas.  Is that how that would work? Like is a work visa a physical thing I can steal?  If it is would stealing it do what I would be intending it to do? I don’t know.  Either way, its happening.  I’m doing it.