Category Archives: NorCal

#BearSelfie Is A New Thing That Could Only Possibly End Well

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San Diego UT – Having a smart phone doesn’t necessarily make a person smart. In fact, the device seems to make some people just plain dumb. Case in point. Bear selfies. In fact, stopping to take a picture of oneself while a large, powerful mammal that could rip you to shreds in seconds lurks close behind, has become such a popular thing to do that the U.S. Forest Service officials in South Lake Tahoe are warning the shutterbugs to stop. Because it’s dangerous, people! “We’ve had mobs of people that are actually rushing toward the bears trying to get a ‘selfie’ photo,”  The Taylor Creek area of Lake Tahoe is a popular place for visitors and is also the site of the fall fish festival, a family event that includes fish painting, a treasure hunt, mascots Lulu the Lahontan Cutthroat Trout and Sandy and Rocky Salmon, the Bumble Bee ice cream truck and the ever popular giant inflatable fish. Visitors are even pulling their cars over along state Route 89 and venturing off the road and off trails to get the snapshots of the wild creatures. It has gotten so bad that officials are threatening to shut down the area. “It is presenting a safety issue,” Herron told the paper. “We are afraid someone is going to get attacked.” According to the Forest Service, there are 25,000 to 30,000 black bears in California. A male bear can weigh as much as 500 pounds and run as fast as 35 mph.

 

This supposedly some new trend among attention whores on on the internet, to stop and turn your back on a bear in the wild so you can take (an admittedly fucking bad ass) selfie for Instagram. I say supposedly because this has the feeling of one of those things where in reality only a handful of people actually did it but Old Media gets confused by The Al GoreTube Network and next thing you know taking selfies with apex predators in the wild becomes a “trend”. But lets assume this really is a thing that is indeed a trend among people who have regular access to wild black bears, I think we can all agree that these people are lunatics. That bear might look docile and whatever just chillin eating some berries and grubs but if he decides he wants to eat you he can. I’m no bear expert but I would think if he wanted you as a snack or if he was just doing Darwin’s dirty work because you annoyed him I would imagine the perfect time would be when this dumbass, unarmed, pork chop lookin mothafucker with an iphone turns it’s back. And when someone inevitably gets mauled by a bear thats trying to get every last bit of easy protein before turning in for the winter can we all agree that it should not have to be hunted down and shot? Like I get that’s our normal response to animals that eat a human and normally I understand and support that thinking but this is different. I feel like anytime you stop and do something inconsiderate, dangerous or just not smart all in the name of taking a selfie, whatever happens to you is on you. The laws and conventions of society are suspended for however long you’re self-indulgence takes.

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How about that Fall Fish Festival huh? Treasure Hunts, Lulu the Cutthroat Trout and the ever popular giant inflatable fish?! And they have fish painting! I have no idea what fish painting is or how it works but I assume it has something to do with both painting and a fish, maybe you paint pictures for the fish? Or of the fish? or maybe with the fish, like you use the fish as a brush to paint? So so so sooo many possibilities at the South Tahoe Fall Fish Fest.

Street Urchins Calling Themselves “Urban Travelers” Is Utterly Ridiculous

LA Times – To him, it’s another day on the streets. Some call him an “urban traveler,” “a crust punk” or worse. He and others like him — mostly young, homeless people who often travel in groups — roam beach cities begging for money, sleeping under the stars and trying to survive. They’re vexing to tourist-dependent spots from San Francisco to San Diego, where officials complain their gritty edge and sometimes violent tendencies intimidate locals and turn visitors off. “They can be very aggressive and very disruptive,” said San Diego City Councilman Ed Harris, who represents Ocean Beach, where homeless youth congregate on the sea wall, sleep on the beach and light illegal campfires. They’re not drawn exclusively to the West Coast but to other cities perceived as “cool,” such as Minneapolis-St. Paul; Denver; Portland, Ore.; and Seattle.

“Urban Travelers”! Ha! Yo, fuck these street urchins directly in their stupid road-grimy homeless faces. They’re a fucking scourge on society. I live in Ocean Beach and I understand why a person would choose to come here but guess what? Nobody wants to have to wake up and have a job and go make fucking money but we do because that’s how society works.  If you have zero interest in really contributing to society that’s fine, just go do it in the woods in Montana or Alaska or somewhere like that. Don’t be doing it in a place full of people who actually work to live there and then have the goddamn audacity to get all huffy when I tell you to stop sleeping in my fucking driveway. I can tell you first hand that there is always, 100% of the time a fairly sizable group of all variety of miscreants, hobos, urchins and junkies congregating and aggressively begging for money, playing shitty music on their  guitars and attempting to sell nickle bags of shitty, shitty weed along the sea wall. Get the fuck outta my face with this shit.  Seriously these “people” aren’t much higher than the common street rats they sleep next to every night.

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The only time i do feel bad is when the vagrant has a dog but even then I only feel bad for the dog. The pup didnt choose to have a scumbag as an owner.

Royals vs Giants World Series Preview

After what seems like an eternity between baseball games the World Series kicks off tonight in Kansas City with what should be an absolutely electric crowd at Kauffman Stadium. So before first pitch tonight lets have a little preview of the 2014 World Series.

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NFL Division Round Picks

Went 1-1-2 ATS Wildcard Weekend after getting lucky and locking in the Chiefs +1 early on in the week.  I went 2-2 if you take the point spread out of things, so the absolute definition of mediocrity.  Could have been worse though so we’re going to put that all behind us, its the Divisional Round and we have a whole new slate of games.  The power players are all in action this week and we have four regular season rematches with one of them being the third act in an AFC West drama.  Lets get on with the picks for the Divisional Round of the 2013 National Football League Playoffs:

New Orleans @ Seattle (-7.5)

You know this isn’t what New Orleans wanted to see.  Fresh off of the franchise’s first ever road playoff win against an over-matched Eagles team they now get to travel up to the Pac Northwest and their own personal House of Horrors.  The last time we saw the Saints travel to The Emerald City the Seahawks took Drew Brees & Co out behind the woodshed and gave them some Deliverence style hospitality on MNF for all the world to see.  New Orleans last playoff trip to Seattle wasnt any better, that was the game where the defending Super Bowl Champs were introduced to a freshly de-Buffalo’ed Marshawn Lynch who went fucking BEASTMODE on the entire Saints defense, emasculating them all individually in the process.

The Picks:

ATS: Seahwaks – 7.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

Indy (+7) @ New England

After a ridiculous and frantic comeback in the second half at home last week for his first career playoff victory Andrew Luck will now lead his Colts into Foxboro to attempt to get his first road playoff win.  The Colts come in about as hot as they possibly can and are the trendy pick for a surprise Super Bowl run.  Unfortunately for the Colts the only reason they had to complete the second greatest comeback in NFL post season hearing and all of the heroics from Shrek Luck was because in the biggest game of his career to date he played about as poorly as possible for the first 30 min.  That shit will not fly this weekend.  That’s not Fat Andy Reid and a Chiefs franchise that has the stink of failure hanging over them across the field on Saturday evening.  While this Patriots defense has had crippling injury after crippling injury this year I simply can not envision Luck overcoming all of those mistakes a second time especially since this incarnation of the Patriot offense can take the ball and grind 6min of game time off of the clock if need be.

The picks:

ATS: Colts +7

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

San Francisco @ Carolina (+1.5)

.The 49ers come into this game fresh off of one of the colder games in recent memory in a dirt parking lot in Green Bay that provided the perfect ending to a truly Wildcard Weekend facing Cam Newton in his post-season debut.  After road teams went 3-1 in the Wildcard Weekend SF is appartently the sexy pick as this weekends road victors.  I don’t see it.  The Panthers have been one of the best teams in football the last several m,onthysa and thats not because of Cam but rather because of their defense.  In what should be a hard hitting and low scoring affair the Panthers should improve to 2-0 vs SF this season as the defense should carry them ton victory.

The Picks:

ATS: Panthers + 1.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

San Diego (+9.5) @ Denver

The Chargers have a little bit of momentum, go into Mile High as the only team in football to beat Peyton in Denver this season and they have every reason in the world to believe in themselves.  For that exact same reason I’m picking against the Chargers straight up this week. This is what I said in my picks column from last week about the San Diego Super Chargers, “they sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it” and I was right.  Now I’m going to ride that philosophy this week.  When you factor in the point spread I like the Chargers because the simply do not get blown out.

The Picks:

ATS: Chargers +9.5

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

Lets Make Some NFL Playoff Picks

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Everyone else on tv and the interwebs seems to be picking this weekend’s slate of games against the spread and I’m just as if not smarter than all these motherfuckers so I figure I should get in the game myself, here’s my picks for Wild Card Weekend:

Kansas City +1 @ Indy (Sat  1:35pm PST)

The first game of the weekend is also probably the toughest call, Indy giving 1 point at home is basically Vegas just throwing their hands up in the air and saying “fuck it, you guys figure it out”.  On one side you have an amazingly inconsistent Colts team with (a wildly overrated) Andrew Luck at the helm.  No other team benifited more from the Patriots breaking the Texans sole on MNF towards the end of last season than Indianapolis.  If there were another half decent team in the AFC South the Colts probably wouldn’t even be here.  However picking Andy Reid and Alex Smith on the road in the playoffs is kind of a terrifying proposition since you know, Andy Reid will be in charge of clock management.  In the end on this one I think the loss of Reggie Wayne earlier this season is going to kill them in this game and the Chiefs should lean heavily on Jamaal Charles and their Defense.

Gun to my head I think Jam Chuck carries the Chiefs offense, lets Alex Smith do his minimalist QB thing and take any time management issues out of Big Red’s hands by grinding out clock on the ground.  The pick if I had to: Chiefs + 1

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New Orleans @ Philly – 2.5 (5:10pm PST)

The Saints have a tough time playing on the road.  Charlie Kelly’s Eagles are fahkin rollin along right now.  The game is in Philladelphia and the weather should be just alright saturday.  It’s going to be cold, around 20 at kickoff, but should be snow and relatively wind free.  Plus Shady McCoy has a championship belt.

Got to believe that No Huddle No Mercy allows Shady to put off our rock, paper, scissors title belt unification match for the ages another week.  The Pick: Eagles – 2.5

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San Diego +7 @ Cincinnati (Sun 10am PST)

I love the Chargers to win this game outright for the same reason I fully expected them to lose last week to KC (and boy howdy did they ever try to lose to Andy Reid’s JV Squad), its the San Diego Chargers. They sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it. This is exactly who they’ve been in the Phil Rivers Era. I know Cinnci is a ball hawking Defense and that they crank that D up a notch at home. I am aware that they went undefeated at home this season and that it will be what meteorologists refer to as cold as balls Sunday afternoon in the Queen City but this is EXACTLY the kind of game the Chargers win. And does anybody really trust Marvin Lewis and the Red Rocket in a big game? When was the last time anyone saw the Bengles (or any key component of their current roster) win or even make a significant (positive) play in a huge game? I got nothing.

Despite all the evidence pointing the other way my pick here is: Chargers +7 (+225 on the M/L is worth a thought as well)SD_Chargers1

San Fransisco – 3 @ Green Bay (1:35pm PST)

Man oh man.  The NFL is closing out the Wildcard Weekend with a fucking bang.  And by bang I mean what is predicted to be one of the colder games in recent memory, with a high of FIVE and a low of MINUS TWENTY FOUR! I had to spell those numbers out because I wanted to make sure everyone understood that wasn’t some sort of typo.  Kickoff for this game is set for 3:35pm local time and the sun will be gone dragging with it whatever little warmth it was providing.  Its always going to be tempting to hammer GB catching three points at home with Aaron Rodgers.  Its even more tempting when you factor in a California team traveling to those kinds of temps.  But the thing is at those temps all advantage for being a cold weather team is fucking scrubbed.  At those temps its just fucking cold no matter whom you are.  Also its worth factoring in that fresh break on ARodges collar bone is going to sting like a mother in this cold.  Once you factor in the weather this game should come down to Frank Gore and Eddie Lacy bashing into the opponents defense.  While its always difficult to pick against the Packers at Lambeau but they arent unbeatable in playoffs at home as history has shown us.

The Packers come riding in hot after that Chicago win but I have a strange feeling that Frank Gore will end up as a battering ram and SanFran’s D tends to travel pretty well.   Yay area rejoice The Pick: 49ers -3

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San Diego Is A Ghost Town Right Now & It Is Awesome

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This is one of the best 2 week stretches in SanDiego (and probably any transplant-centric city) . Everyone leaves and goes back from whence they came for the hollidays. I dont like being cold or having the threat of snow hanging over my head so I stay out on the West Coast and I get to have the city to myself. Its kind of nice being in a major American city (we can debate whether SD is a major or a mid-major some other time) when its essentially populated by a skeleton crew. Downtown was whisper quiet yesterday, Ocean Beach is like a high school on senior skip day today. I love it, its great, like I can stretch out a little bit. Theres always a seat open at the bar, there arent any lines at the grocery store or post office or DMV or wherever and the traffic lightens up pretty dramatically. Not to mention that orphan holidays are the best holidays. Overall just a downright enjoyable time to be in America’s Finest City.

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This is doesnt hurt my argument for staying at the beach for the hollidays:
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So I Guess I’m Assembling a Real-Life Scooby Doo Team Now?

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I guess this is where my life has come to now.  In my late 20’s and all I want to do is assemble a kick ass Scooby Doo Team but whatever, the heart wants what it wants.  (It’s crazy how somethings in life just are.  Just not really meant to be understood. Right Bobby Griffin x3?) Plus I’m going to be the co-owner of my very own thoroughly kick ass gold mining ghost town ft/ a bar and liquor license very shortly that would be a perfect setting for a little Scooby Dooin’ around.  From what I envision a Scooby Doo Team  would basically consist of hanging around getting stoned with your friends in a bitchin’ custom van, go on some random adventures, eat sandwiches and solve a few mysteries.  I LOVE all of those things!

I would like to campaign right here and now for Shaggy being the sneaky greatest role of all time.  Sure, it’s true that Fred is definitely putting the screws to Daphne but that leaves Velma all cold and alone on those long nights in sketchy ass remote locations.  She may be a tad on the mousey side but I have to believe there’s a little sex kitten locked up in there.  Don’t know why, just a hunch.  It’s not like Shaggy would really even have to try that hard, Velma is a girl and girls are infinitesimally jealous if one of their friends is getting some steady D right in front of them.  Amplify that by 1000x when said girls are part of a traveling foursome in a shaggin wagon.  Let Fred romp around all day and night with the two chatty broads while Shaggy wanders around kickin it with Scoob doin the whole getting stoned eating sandwiches bit.  To surmise Shaggy gets to hang out with his dog, smokin J’s, eatin snacks and then returns to the van for some effort-free sex with a slightly frumpy but overall cute girl.  Shaggy.