Category Archives: Los Angeles

Street Urchins Calling Themselves “Urban Travelers” Is Utterly Ridiculous

LA Times – To him, it’s another day on the streets. Some call him an “urban traveler,” “a crust punk” or worse. He and others like him — mostly young, homeless people who often travel in groups — roam beach cities begging for money, sleeping under the stars and trying to survive. They’re vexing to tourist-dependent spots from San Francisco to San Diego, where officials complain their gritty edge and sometimes violent tendencies intimidate locals and turn visitors off. “They can be very aggressive and very disruptive,” said San Diego City Councilman Ed Harris, who represents Ocean Beach, where homeless youth congregate on the sea wall, sleep on the beach and light illegal campfires. They’re not drawn exclusively to the West Coast but to other cities perceived as “cool,” such as Minneapolis-St. Paul; Denver; Portland, Ore.; and Seattle.

“Urban Travelers”! Ha! Yo, fuck these street urchins directly in their stupid road-grimy homeless faces. They’re a fucking scourge on society. I live in Ocean Beach and I understand why a person would choose to come here but guess what? Nobody wants to have to wake up and have a job and go make fucking money but we do because that’s how society works.  If you have zero interest in really contributing to society that’s fine, just go do it in the woods in Montana or Alaska or somewhere like that. Don’t be doing it in a place full of people who actually work to live there and then have the goddamn audacity to get all huffy when I tell you to stop sleeping in my fucking driveway. I can tell you first hand that there is always, 100% of the time a fairly sizable group of all variety of miscreants, hobos, urchins and junkies congregating and aggressively begging for money, playing shitty music on their  guitars and attempting to sell nickle bags of shitty, shitty weed along the sea wall. Get the fuck outta my face with this shit.  Seriously these “people” aren’t much higher than the common street rats they sleep next to every night.

PS –

The only time i do feel bad is when the vagrant has a dog but even then I only feel bad for the dog. The pup didnt choose to have a scumbag as an owner.

Lets Take A Look Back At The Time LA Sheriff’s Raided Justin Bieber’s House Looking For Eggs

editor’s note: this is a blog that I wrote way back when this happened (sometime in February I think?) but just never posted for some reason but I feel like the week of Halloween is a good time to post a story about a house getting egged.

LA Times – Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies are serving a felony search warrant at the Calabasas residence of singer Justin Bieber in connection to an investigation into an egging incident at his neighbor’s home.  Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said eight people are being detained inside Bieber’s home, including the singer.  Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies are serving a felony search warrant at the Calabasas residence of singer Justin Bieber in connection to an investigation into an egging incident at his neighbor’s home.  Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said eight people are being detained inside Bieber’s home, including the singer.  Whitmore said the egging incident was determined to be a felony because it caused several thousand dollars worth of damage. Nagelmann said the neighbor told deputies he had seen Bieber throwing the eggs. The offense in the initial police report is listed as misdemeanor vandalism, according to the Sheriff’s Department.  Authorities said it was unknown what prompted the egging.

So this is the big news of Tuesday morning in the Los Angeles Times.  Just splashed all over their website. Which I’m going to take as great news because it obviously means that all of the other problems in the greater-LA area have apparently been solved.  You can sleep with doors unlocked tonight Los Angeles! All crime has been solved.

That being said, as the pre-eminent smut blogger in the American Southwest I would not be fullfilling the office I was sworn into if I didnt mention this because to be quite honest this whole thing a bit perplexing.  First off how the hell do you even rack up several grand in property damage throwing eggs?  I mean I knew that pop royalty like The Biebs are goign to have access to the finer things in life but what was he throwing, Elephant Bird eggs?  Really nice to see that the Sheriffs didnt over react or anything with a dawn raid on Casa de Biebs in search of, eggs I guess?

 

Burrito Vending Machine Is Intriguing To Say The Least

Why does the man reading this segment for the San Diego Union-Tribune have such a heavy British accent?  That doesn’t even begin to make any sense, if they wanted someone that sounded “ethnic” (as I’m sure they would put it) why wouldn’t they get somebody that had a slight Mexican accent?  Is it because a British accent seems more intelligent and trustworthy?  I find the whole thing a bit distracting.

Anyways as far the actual Burrito Box, I’m in favor of this.  I’m actually way more than in favor of this, I’m genuinely excited.  As of right now there’s just that one in Hollywood but I have to think this technology is just going to grow.  They’re never going to be able to replace a real life honest to god questionably documented mexican in a dirty taco shop kitchen but at 3am I’m pretty sure these things are Johnny on the fucking spot.  Although I have no doubts whatsoever that the morning after effects of a vending machine burrito are pretty vengeful that has never stopped me before and I will be damned if thats going to change today! Burrito Box!

NFL Division Round Picks

Went 1-1-2 ATS Wildcard Weekend after getting lucky and locking in the Chiefs +1 early on in the week.  I went 2-2 if you take the point spread out of things, so the absolute definition of mediocrity.  Could have been worse though so we’re going to put that all behind us, its the Divisional Round and we have a whole new slate of games.  The power players are all in action this week and we have four regular season rematches with one of them being the third act in an AFC West drama.  Lets get on with the picks for the Divisional Round of the 2013 National Football League Playoffs:

New Orleans @ Seattle (-7.5)

You know this isn’t what New Orleans wanted to see.  Fresh off of the franchise’s first ever road playoff win against an over-matched Eagles team they now get to travel up to the Pac Northwest and their own personal House of Horrors.  The last time we saw the Saints travel to The Emerald City the Seahawks took Drew Brees & Co out behind the woodshed and gave them some Deliverence style hospitality on MNF for all the world to see.  New Orleans last playoff trip to Seattle wasnt any better, that was the game where the defending Super Bowl Champs were introduced to a freshly de-Buffalo’ed Marshawn Lynch who went fucking BEASTMODE on the entire Saints defense, emasculating them all individually in the process.

The Picks:

ATS: Seahwaks – 7.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

Indy (+7) @ New England

After a ridiculous and frantic comeback in the second half at home last week for his first career playoff victory Andrew Luck will now lead his Colts into Foxboro to attempt to get his first road playoff win.  The Colts come in about as hot as they possibly can and are the trendy pick for a surprise Super Bowl run.  Unfortunately for the Colts the only reason they had to complete the second greatest comeback in NFL post season hearing and all of the heroics from Shrek Luck was because in the biggest game of his career to date he played about as poorly as possible for the first 30 min.  That shit will not fly this weekend.  That’s not Fat Andy Reid and a Chiefs franchise that has the stink of failure hanging over them across the field on Saturday evening.  While this Patriots defense has had crippling injury after crippling injury this year I simply can not envision Luck overcoming all of those mistakes a second time especially since this incarnation of the Patriot offense can take the ball and grind 6min of game time off of the clock if need be.

The picks:

ATS: Colts +7

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

San Francisco @ Carolina (+1.5)

.The 49ers come into this game fresh off of one of the colder games in recent memory in a dirt parking lot in Green Bay that provided the perfect ending to a truly Wildcard Weekend facing Cam Newton in his post-season debut.  After road teams went 3-1 in the Wildcard Weekend SF is appartently the sexy pick as this weekends road victors.  I don’t see it.  The Panthers have been one of the best teams in football the last several m,onthysa and thats not because of Cam but rather because of their defense.  In what should be a hard hitting and low scoring affair the Panthers should improve to 2-0 vs SF this season as the defense should carry them ton victory.

The Picks:

ATS: Panthers + 1.5

Moving on to the NFC Championship Game:

San Diego (+9.5) @ Denver

The Chargers have a little bit of momentum, go into Mile High as the only team in football to beat Peyton in Denver this season and they have every reason in the world to believe in themselves.  For that exact same reason I’m picking against the Chargers straight up this week. This is what I said in my picks column from last week about the San Diego Super Chargers, “they sabotage themselves in games they’re supposed to win and somehow pull out Ws when absolutely nobody expects it” and I was right.  Now I’m going to ride that philosophy this week.  When you factor in the point spread I like the Chargers because the simply do not get blown out.

The Picks:

ATS: Chargers +9.5

Moving on to the AFC Championship Game:

Does This Look Like The Face Of A San Diego Man Caught Wearing A Kardashian Hoodie In Las Vegas

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San Diego U-T – San Diegan Greg Ryan is living proof that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.  Over Christmas, the Patio Restaurant bar manager was spotted in Bellagio Casino’s arcade by reality show star Khloe Kardashian. He was wearing one of her track suits.

Gotta love how Khloe made sure to throw in that now they can “say they are unisex” just to make sure everyone knows that this is, indeed an article of female clothing.  Kick a man while he’s down why don’t ya? For fuck’s sake.  Thats a really tough break my man and I feel for you.  Could have easily been anyone of us and before you start crowing how that could never be you because you’re such an Eddie Tough Guy and would never wear female clothing you probably need to pump the brakes and think about how this guy ended up in these circumstances.  One second this poor shmo is lounging in his Vegas hotel room with his chick and she sends him down to the lobby to grab coffee or some other errand.  He figures why not, it’ll keep her happy and I can grab a drink or six while I’m down there.Figuring he wont be gone long and is still kind of hungover he heads out of the room and just grabs one of the sweatshirts on the chair by the door.  He doesn’t realize it’s hers until he gets into the elevator and just shrugs it off assuming that it’s the middle of the morning or day or whatever in Las Vegas and he’ll just anonymously blend into the sea of madness and lights that is Sin City.  Just minding his own business trying to just enjoy his cocktail and forget that for Christmas somebody got you a Kardashian brand hoodie, next second one of those bridge trolls is putting you on blast all over Instagram.

Quite The Crowd At The Clippers Game Last Night

So Doc Rivers’ Clips held home court last night and marched past the Celtics on the back of Blake Griffin’s 29 points.  Thats to be expected, the Clippers even sans Chris Paul are a far superior team to the Boston Celtics.  The C’s did put up a fight as it appears almost every player on the roster is auditioning to be the next one traded to a contender.  Thats not what we’re here to discuss today.  No today I would like to talk about the awesome crowd behind one of the baskets last night.  This is their reaction to Blake Griffin getting up and (sort of) over  Kris Humphries:

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Now this man’s Mini Mouse swerve is obviously the the first thing that will catch your eye, and rightfully so.  That shit is on point.  But there are so many other hidden little gems in this one.  Lets break it down one by one:

MrScarfMr Scarf over here sitting on the left hand of Mr Mini is the perfect stereotype partner for Mini Mouse.  Just covering up his reaction with his scarf.  Strange play for sure.  I’m not too sure what would possess you to do that but then again I don’t know what possesses a man to wear a scarf in LA.  Seriously bro it was like 73 degrees yesterday.  Knock that shit off.

KiethRichardsSo Kieth Richard’s has apparently perfected the art of time travel and has used this gift to attend Clippers games.  And it is is blowing young Kieth Richard’s fucking mind.  Like something was finally awesome enough to cut through the cloud the permanently surrounds his brain.  Looks like even with a second shot at youth Kieth Richards is still making wonderful decisions.

HeadDownHead down, completely zoned out staring at the iPhone.  Probably watching a sick Blake Griffin dunk compilation video on YouTube or something.  Money well spent for those seats.

AsianClipsHonestly I have no explanation for this but for some reason this asian lady just cracks me right the fuck up.  That might make me a racist but I can’t help it that she makes me giggle every time I look at her.

Clips_Glasses'Glasses guy here seems really melancholy about the whole affair.  His lack of reaction is actually pretty fucking creepy.  Especially when juxtaposed to the guy behind him who has literally had Blake Griffin take his breath away.

BlackClipsThis black lady is killing the dunk reaction game.. You can see from her cuffs she clearly is fairly dressed and is sporting some type of blazer or another.  Doesn’t make a bit of difference how prim and proper a person may be, when somebody get dunked on right up close and personal black folks just instinctively lose their shit.  Just have no other options, its primal.  One day I would like to be as excited about anything as black people get watching people get dunked on.