Category Archives: I Need One

Does Anyone Else Out There Like Sexy Redheads?

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Sexy redheads are such a rare find but man oh man are the awesome when you do find one.  But like I said it can be obscenely difficult to find even one hot redhead but have no fear ye olde Boston Beatbox came to the rescue and put together the definitive photo gallery of sexy redheaded women.  You are all very welcome.

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Jameis Winston Even Shakes Hands Better Than Everyone Else

So I know today everybody is going to be all wrapped up in that ridiculous National Title Game.  I’m happy to see the BCS go the fuck away and what a way to send it out.  Probably the best college football game since Texas-USC in the Rose Bowl.  Jameis played like a Heisman Trophy winner should and made all the big plays he had to down the stretch.  Just an exhilarating football game all the way around,  That’s not what we’re here for though, you’ll get enough of that talk elsewhere today.  What i want to talk about is Jameis Winston’s handshake with Jimbo Fisher’s son Tyler.  Did everyone else see that on ESPN’s 8 hour pregame show? If not take a second and check this out:

That thing is fucking straight up magical.  I havent been able to stop thinking about it since I saw it for the first time yesterday.  Every time I watch it I get more and more enchanted with the whole operation.  How in the hell am I supposed to go on knowing that I do not have a handshake anywhere near that dope with a single person on the planet?  It’s quite honestly begining to drive me a bit mad.  I mean I generally think I’m pretty gotdamn fly but now I’m just sitting here re-evaluating everything I though I knew about myself.  I don’t ever make New Year’s Resolutions and I dig that I’m a week late but you can write this down now: I will have a wicked complicated 37 step handshake with at least one human person by 2015.

PS –

Yup, I think I can safely say that Jameis Winston’s handshake with a 12 year old is officially the proud owner of a nice piece of real estate in my head.  Well played.

Double PS –

Don’t worry Johnny Manziel, didn’t forget about you. Looks like you’re enjoying the offseason thus far

still my favorite

I want to be Johnny Manziel for one day.  That’s all I’m asking for, 24 hours. One day in the life of Johnny Football.  Pure unadulterated madness…

Twelve Days of XMas Are Complete! We Made It Everybody!

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Well here it is folks.  The culmination of a lot of smutty work.  Today is Christmas, effectively making it the 12th and final day of the holiday run up. I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Merry Christmas guys:

XMasHoe34

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Eleventh Day of XMas! Pipers Are Piping Tonight!

Rowdy-Roddy-PiperRowdy Rody Piper counts a s 11 grown men

This is it folks, the Eve of Baby Jesus miraculous shuffle down the virgin Mary’s birth canal.  We’ve come along way, stared at a lot of ass together of the past 10 days, so with only 1 more tyo go after today lets finish this bitch out a strong note.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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Tenth Day of XMas! Lords A Leaping? Not On My Watch

We have officially hit the three-quarter stick on the way to Baby Jesus Day! To help all of my fine peoples get through this last holiday push your generous and benevolent Comandant Boston Beatbox is going to be posting some Hoe, Hoe, motherfucking Hoes.  Not only that but I’m also going to include the lyrics from the classic Twelve Days of Christmas that correspond with that Day of Christmas.  Thats right a new gallery of three sexified X-Mas themed pics accompanied by the stanza for that day of XMas will go up everyday from now until we hit paydirt.  By the end of this little experiment in my ability to commit to a long term project we should have a lovely little gallery and the complete words to The Twelve Days of Christmas.  I’ve had a quite a bit of fun assembling this whole thing and if you guys enjoy yourselves even half that much then I’ve accomplished my mission and mission accomplishment is why we exist.

Happy holidays you filthy mutts:

XMasHoe34

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See-Through Pool Tables Are Real And They Are Spectacular

A stranger commercial or advertisement or investor pitch or whatever that was these Irish eyes have never seen but I’ll be Kim Kardashian’s OBGYN if that wasn’t crazy effective.  Weird ass soundtrack aside that video made that table look sexy as fuck.  I mean ten minutes ago I wasn’t even aware that pool billiards tables with a “patented transparent vitrik playing surface” and now I’m panicking wondering how I’ve managed to survive this long without one.  Honestly I’m not sure how much longer I can go on with this little life of mine carrying with me the knowledge that something this awesome exists and I do not posses it.   The imagination strolls through some dark places when I start thinking about all of the endless degenerate possibilities. Just oozes class and sophistication.  Need one and I need one three months ago.

Sonia Tlev, The French Connection

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Today I bring to you, my peoples, Sonia Tlev.  Ms. Tlev is a 24yr old fitness blogger from Paris and she does a pretty solid job over on Instagram.  That seems to be all the info of note, which is fine because her ass seriously just does not quit.  It’s unreal.  Almost makes me forget that Paris is a smelly city inhabited by genetic surrender monkeys.  To be fair though if I thought I even had a slight chance I would gladly wade knee deep through Parisian mimes and sexually aggressive yet confused skunks to get within the gravitational pull of dat ass.

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