Can We Talk About How To Walk Down The Sidewalk?

Can we take a second to talk about how we as a society have apparently forgotten how to properly traverse a sidewalk? I get that here at the top of the First World we aren’t Chinese sweatshop workers so we all actually own smartphones and want to play with them all of the time.  For the most part I’m cool with it (unless you’re driving, then knock it off. You’re piloting a ton-and-a-half metal cruise missile through crowded streets, seriously knock it off) but there have to be some rules or at the very least some common courtesies.  I’m talking specifically about how its managed to clog up and clusterfuck up sidewalks in urban areas across the US.  It’s fucking ridiculous if we’re being honest.  So as a public service announcement Ye Old Boston Beatbox has draw up a little advice for the peoples:

SidewalkHere we have a person standing in the middle of the sidewalk dicking around on their iPhone. Shouldn’t be standing in the middle of the sidewalk like some sort of self-centered asshole.  Just begging for a dropkick. Don’t do this.

Sidewalk_StreetSideIf you are a reasonable person you should be glancing up from your phone every so often and if you suddenly find yourself in the middle of the sidewalk you can simply slide-step in one direction or the other. Either towards the street, like is pictured above, or inside towards the buildings, pictured below.

Sidewalk_InsideEither one is very acceptable and is obviously dependent on any surrounding foot traffic.  But at least your doing something and not just standing there like a goddamn beaver damn in a river.

Then there are these people which sadly are the most prevelent in this little mixed up technologicaly pubecent world of ours:

Sidewalk_WrongMake absolutely no mistake about it, if that red line is the path you take at a meandering pace while going down a sidewalk you are just one degree short of a fucking war criminal.  I’m not even sure I’m joking.  There are very few things in this world that will send me flying off into a blind rage as quickly as some douche bag asshole hipster fucking around on their smartphone wandering all over the goddamn sidewalk slower than shit trying to roll uphill.  Getting in the way of people just trying to get their coffee in the morning.  Awful, awful people.  Honestly though if you do this you should probably work on correcting that like immediately because every time you do this you take your life into your own hands.

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